MUSHROOM PICKINGMy mother pointed at the mushroom, said one word loudly, plainly – “poisonous.” But that fungus was so plump, inviting, its blacks and whites like art deco on a stalk. I could feel my mouth water. But I believed that she knew better than I did. Yes, I felt betrayed by beauty. But if it could kill me then I had no compunctions in avoiding it. Next up, something no more than a shriveled lead-colored dot, but she said, “that’s the one” so I plucked it from the earth and dropped it in a bag. By the end of the day, we’d collected enough of these inferior lookers for soup, for salads. But not for death. For life, gray, ordinary. THE MAN WHO STARTED THE FIRE You didn’t quite squelch that camp fire. Little seeds of flame blew deep into the forest, scrambled up hill as easily as oak trunk, pounced on dry grass that hadn’t tasted rain in weeks. Look behind you. That smoke is the exhaust from your unthinking. You’ve always been a careless man. Now you have a conflagration to prove it. You see the fire on TV. You read about it in the newspaper. The news does not include you. That isn’t news to you. And your neighbors won’t know the cause of the threat. It’s the fire that is coming in their direction. Not you. THE OTHER HALF Your daughter rattles off the names of her school friends who don't have fathers. It's as if they never did whereas she remembers hers clearly. After all, she last saw him the previous weekend. You tell her the usual pap about how sometimes couple discover that they no longer love each other. She wonders how that works when there was no other person to begin with. You don't tell her how there that has to be a father somewhere, at some time. You just let her believe that some mothers never fell in love in the first place. It's only a lie if the truth hurts. DIARY The heart keeps a diary. Nature adds a note when appropriate. The frost is a continuing thread. The death of meadow sweet and swamp candles. Some flowers gently emboss. Others open then fold the pages. I forgive the snail's sluggish trail. But love the starlit windowpane streaks. Pale sun, cobwebs fluttering between two branches, a stillness to the lake, the air, generate enough incidents to be worth reporting. It must keep it up, day after day. Otherwise, how do I remember summer. Or the dutchman's breeches. Or the flight patterns of swallows. Set it down, that's what I say. Not just to the heart but every organ that looks for recompense in the woods, the fields, the walking stick at my hip. Dead things can have their lives returned to them. The canopy could gain insight, wisdom even, from the confessionals of the undergrowth. It doesn't need a hand or man, merely an inference, an intimation. And, if the author's threatened, then write and write some more. To the earth and stars, the unpredictable wind. To your congressman if you have to. Once added to the journal, it's indelible. Can never be removed. The heart can read itself and learn all it needs to know of the track of the moon. It can go on for years, look forward, look back, compare, comprehend, commiserate. What snow and chlorophyll alone can know deepens its pages. It even offers space to the merest twig. Or drop of rain. Or anything less than these. And that diary's being written even when only cricket chirp is worth noting. It makes a time and place for a bird on a windowsill. A plucked blade of grass. Disasters are spelled out in bold letters. But so are small things. Like healed scars. And a light that finds its way through a pine tree grove. The heart was always part of the plan. I never could walk these woods with my feet alone. A trail map is well and good. But if I see something, if I feel something, the senses cannot quell the urge to make these permanent. Yes, even you, lichen. And that leaf about to fall, the branch to snap, the squirrel to stow away another acorn. Even the dead bird is part of it. The heart keeps a diary, endlessly adding to it, even if it's the same things over and over. There's no lock. No need even for a cover. Its pages are accessible to any part of me. It's writing something now. But not an explanation. That's my job. I'm done. It's not. DEVELOPMENT I will bulldoze wooden houses, raze garages,
tear lawns limb from limb. My machinery brooks no argument. So trees better not try anything. Memories are too ambitious for their own good. Do they really expect to go on once the windows have been smashed and the linoleum’s off to the dumpster. I am comfortable with the name “development.” I don’t have to be called “progress.” That’s for politicians. I’m apolitical. But I am a stickler for food courts. I make it possible for a person to spend half a day looking in shoe shops, fashion chains, beauty salons etc. But, sorry, I no longer do bookstores. I am here to knock down one thing, replace it with something else, That’s how it works with the people at large. Why should commerce be any different? You’re all one fatal sickness away from being covered over by six feet of dirt and feasted on by worms and weevils. See, even God is a stickler for food courts.
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