Did you think your kiss could bring
Back beauty to the Black-Eyed Susan?
That the soft caress of your ever-hungry lips
Could make the bruised apple innocent again?
The weight of your smile shall not shatter
My will to remember.
I will not look to your soft eyes
And hope that they have changed for good
I know the storm will rage again
In the quiet of our home where only I can hear
You will tear at my sails and sink me down
Down to where there is no thought but you
I will take myself from the well where you wait
For I know I will surely fall in, should I come close
I will find one whose eyes do not leave bruises on my skin
But touch me sweetly and melt my layer of ice
If, such a one exists.
I wish I would’ve trapped you in a poem
While I still felt the same
When the spent candle of that love
Did burn bright flame
As inhuman as the waves on the loam
now free, lost I roam
But still I smell your recent rain
Closeness and Absence, left with disquieting tame
Forever laying in our quiet home
I drink to sleep like the dead
So the phantoms wouldn’t come
I drink to calm the
clamoring voices inside
I drink and I take them home
Not for love or lust,
but so when they come
I can face them
I drink so I can stop being myself
It must have been me
who invited them in, who showed them
Such a sweet vessel
I drink so I can feel dead
Each night I kill myself
Socially acceptable suicide
Yet, still they wait
And I have to choose.
Hell with them, or
Hell with me.
Am I destined to be
What is in my blood?
I see your actions
Rising in my boiling blood
Breaking the surface and
Scorching those close to me
Still, these hands
Don’t seem to be mine
They pine for pain
So i'll turn them to myself
If im destined for blood
I'll make sure I’m drained.
It's nice to have options .
Standing as my toes dangle
Of the sidewalk onto the street
I like keeping my options open
Each passing car an opportunity
I wouldn’t do that to the driver though
Still it’s a fun dream
Like walking across a bridge
Fantasizing the fall.
Dreaming the death.
But I'll keep my options open
I’ll let cigarettes and alcohol
Creep in as they are wont to do.
The fall will happen, Is happening?
Is bound to happen, Has to happen.