Scott Laudati lives in Cranston, RI with his goldfish, Trish. He is the author of books Play The Devil (novel) and Hawaiian Shirts In The Electric Chair (poems). Visit him on instagram @scottlaudati The Twilights Last Gleaming it’s not funny i’m not hungry i wish i died before the 90’s came back but no one retires at the right time the fade is a slow burn and usually the ones who could’ve been good drop out first. they name baseball fields after them probably a scholarship but no one alive cares memories replaced too soon by the next draft and no ghosts hang like frames in these halls the dead don’t want any part of this shit either. no one is well. the fast clap of the audience was muted long ago. the people needed to eat and stole the generator the nypd shot at the black ones and the white working class didn’t like it this time. no one is well. they turn the lights on but the audience doesn’t laugh the twilight last gleamed on some other era when we didn’t have to hide from the dawn and everyone could still smile at the mirror Everyone Hates You everyone hates you. even if you haven’t figured it out yet dont worry you will. it’ll be the confirmation of your biggest fears. your father saw something better your readers thought there was promise. but they were wrong. anyone who has ever believed in anything is wrong. even after you put your grandfather in the ground after the speech about how you used to sail around the swamps of eastern maryland and put chicken in crab traps to see what kinds of turtles swam in for the flesh you’ll be wrong. about how he was your hero once. you were wrong. and then your aunt will find his diary and you’ll read that he was like everyone else. that he thought you were born with all the promise and yet you wasted it on a stupid major on the women you followed like a new gospel and all the forgotten words in your notebook that never amounted to a decent novel, that you would fall further than your privilege should’ve allowed. and you’ll think about your appetite and how it far exceed your talent. and you won’t fight back because you’ll know he was right. the dream is over pt. II it was so easy once. i never had to hunch over the keys to pull something out words just appeared and the second hand clicked as i lay on my back and put onto paper any good word that came through. like throwing darts at a wall like playing william tell and if you do this long enough no matter how bad it starts eventually you hit a bullseye. but they don’t come so easy now. you see, love lived here once in these keys on that paper in the dark corners of the classroom i faded in to as the stories rolled out from the weekend from the bleachers from the diners over cherry cokes and disco fries. the rain fell like blue yarn that fall and the sun never felt good either. i wrote you a poem about an umbrella i had whose stem was carved to a duck head. but it was homecoming weekend the game sold out and they raffled off a new bicycle at half-time while the sophomores took turns under the bleachers. the rain turned to ice on saturday. my priest sang a homily sunday. then it was monday again. i listened in homeroom while horrible lips smiled over the weekend. you took a vow of silence too bad they never did
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