Potential poison seeping through my pores
I can’t see anymore
for peace in a world where peace is
Because the war is not yet over
and the poison is flushing through my eyes
because I decided to wear a star on my chest;
or at least that's what he used to call me
But I didn't shine bright,
Black and grey with tinted emotions
composed of red burnt out flames,
Scorching to be
In other words, “desperate” sometimes “damaged”
infested with poor communication skills
with a touch of lack of loyalty.
Because I come to you for change
And I come to you to release: begging
But I can't release without change
And I lie to protect what you know
Though you know It all
I keep trying to get you to open doors
I won't take my hands off of: controlling
So I ask for healing: pleading
To find it in a place
of where I want to be
Building homes on troubled sands and rough waters
But you salvage ruble and microscopic treasures: all mighty
So I ask for peace, again
And peace comes with healing
And healing comes with change
I found in a place
On holy ground
Soiled spirits, and faith in you: the church
The Garden of Envy
Walking hands intertwined down lilac fields goes Red and Blue
wondering why together they don’t make the beauty around them.
Purple flowers dripping honeydew
pursing bees lips, sweet kisses full of nectar.
Red: Drinking sugar syrup.
Blue: Slurping flourishing flowers.
In hopes to morph,
mending colors; sinning.
In lilac fields of purple-grey
gazing in awe:
Red and Blue boast,
harboring bitter envy and selfishness.
Jealous of the kiss of the bees,
begging to be purple.
That’s my main problem
I try to turn nothing into something.
I need to learn that time does not mean love
and love does not mean commitment.
We are at the kind of phase where it’s a bit of nothing
but a whole lot of everything
the time in your life when you are making stable ground,
But I guess it's not the time in your life where true love is found.
Because 20 is filled with sex and 21 is filled with drinks,
but no matter the number of drinks
can make me forget what you think
Your “its complicated” kinda girl
The girl you don’t know, if you should put your heart out
Or give it a rest.
But I find no fun in wasting my time
I don’t want “lets see what I can get in the meantime”.
I want something more even if its a little nothing
For someone to give me their time, their love, and some form of commitment
But at this age the idea of all that, seems so distant.
So I guess I’ll stop trying to turn nothing into something.
for this is just a phase waiting to run its course,
I get it now, in your 20’s a relationship is not something you can force.
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