JUSTIN EVANS - LETTER TO NEWBERRY: JUNE 14, 2016

Justin Evans’ next book, All the Brilliant Ideas I’ve Ever Had, is forthcoming from Foothills Publishing.  His recent poetry has appeared in Sugar House Review and weber: The Contemporary West. He lives in rural Nevada with his wife and sons, where he teaches at the local high school

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​     Letter to Newberry: June 14, 2016
 
Dear Jeff: Woke up to another shooting,
this one in Florida. Received your letter
earlier this evening.  Of course we
have no answers, only clichés that have
lost all meaning. I ‘played army’ as a child,
grew up with guns, served in the army,
learned how to throw grenades, becoming
the envy of some childhood friends when
I went to war. Funny how none of them
paid much attention when I told them
stories of serving graves registration, going
out to various locations to retrieve bodies--
three Iraqi soldiers, one missing a hand,
another with his skull crushed by a tank.
Stranger still was their silence when I tried
telling them how amnesty boxes were put
in place because American soldiers had
been taking human ears, fingers, and arms
as trophies—the result of too many
shitty movies about the Vietnam war.
It’s why I never bought into the bullshit
of thanking vets my age or younger for
their service.  I served with a lot of good men
but I also know the capacity for human
stupidity.  Sometimes I think I try to use
too many words to express my anger; where
I see other poets excise, I become verbose,
try to purge myself of all language, expel
every ounce of emotion. I fear the day
will come when I will need my words but
there will be nothing left.  I will be empty,
unable to conjure even the disappointment
of a platitude that has soured like milk,
leaving a void to be filled by fear, or worse,
by bullets.  Soon enough we will not be singing
a requiem for the lost, but one for ourselves.
Soon enough, there will be no one left to sing.
            Yours in peace, Justin