Aryton Wise was born and raised in Newark, Ohio and is currently pursuing a bachelors degree in Creative Writing at Full Sail University. You can follow him on Twitter: @arytonjames
Words from the Broken Hearted
When I first met you the rays of the sun lit up the sky behind you, igniting a spark in me I didn’t know I had. Your eyes glistened like the sparkle you’d see on the tips of waves in the middle of the day. Your smile was new and grand, stretching from ear to ear every time we spoke. The spark I felt grew into an emotion I have yet to find the words to describe. It was euphoric. It was refreshing. I thought you were the person who would finally make me feel like there was nothing wrong with me. It was, however, only a thought.
When you made the first move, I wanted the dream to end so I could wake up again. I’d get out of bed and smile at a good night’s rest, but this was reality. As ecstatic as I was, I knew nothing was certain and a future would only come with work and patience, two things I was excited to begin practicing.
You had a history of heart breaks of your own, though, constantly mentioning the name of a recent ex. You said you were broken, too. You warned me of the possibility of heart break. I smirked and accepted a fate you knew was inevitable. You said I couldn’t fix you, but I didn’t want to fix anyone. The only thing I wanted from you was a chance. A chance to prove that love can be found in the eyes of anyone with an open heart.
We spent nights and early mornings always talking to each other, and days were filled with texts and dates I had dreamed of having in the past. Your voice was the only music I wanted to listen to, and you were the only person I wanted to be with. The inclusion of you in any activity was a blessing. I had finally felt at home. I had completely given myself to you.
When I had to leave for an unknown amount of time, you took it upon yourself to stop trying. You told me you weren't ready, but you still wanted to have what we had. You wanted the nightly calls and the constant communication, so I happily conceded. I wanted you in my life as hope that one day things may work out. I had hope for a future still. Then, you stopped calling. You stopped texting. Second long replies became hour long waits and eventually I gave up. You had found someone else.
When you told me you slept with him, I broke. The spark turned into a raging fire that engulfed my mind with thoughts that turned into actions. I put out ashes of cigarettes on my shoulders and drew scarlet lines on my wrists and thighs hoping this pain would be enough to get rid of heartbreak. I was wrong. I did the one thing I never thought I'd do for someone who no longer cared like I did.
I remember the last night we talked I tried to help you. I told you to take time for yourself, and to focus on self-care as you were still broken from the past. You said you liked your new guy, but I knew he was a replacement for a past lover. We indiscriminately called each other names and claimed to know how the other felt the whole time we were together until, finally, the bridge had been burned. We decided to never talk again, and I unfollowed you on every platform I could find. That was truly the end of the dream.
I think about you every day. I hope that you found solace in another man’s arms and I hope you found happiness in his laugh. I hope you found kindness in his soul and relief in his eyes. I hope you found comfort in his presence. I know these thoughts aren’t shared. I know I will become a faded memory of a regret in the back of your mind and I know I will become what you despise in future suitors, but I know how I felt about you and I now know that dreams can be real. Yet these words mean nothing to you.
We had memories, good and bad, but I only recall one. I only remember the one that turned my heart to ash. I only remember the one thing you said to an already heartbroken soul. The last thing you ever said to me,
I told you so.