MICHAEL MARROTTI - THE REVOCATION OF WHITE PRIVILEGE

Michael Marrotti is an author from Pittsburgh, using words instead of violence to mitigate the suffering of life in a callous world of redundancy. His primary goal is to help other people. He considers poetry to be a form of philanthropy. When he's not writing, he's volunteering at the Light Of Life homeless shelter on a weekly basis. If you appreciate the man's work, please check out his book, F.D.A. Approved Poetry, available at Amazon.

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The Revocation Of White Privilege

​   I was walking to my dealer's house, putting miles on these Converse All-stars, when the sincerity of my movie star smile began to dwindle. I know a miserable asshole when I see one.
   It was contempt at first sight. Not even my white privilege could've saved me from the tumultuous road ahead.
   The sexy blonde haired, blue eyed, college student who destroyed my imagination with her promiscuous attire, also destroyed my soon to be chemical smile with her malicious comments.
   The confrontation was inevitable. I tried to walk past, but she wouldn't permit it. The minute I said excuse me was the minute she smacked the cup of coffee out of my left hand, stood on her tippy toes to be at eye level, and put her index finger on my right temple as she said,
   "You got a little dick, and you're taking up all the sufficient jobs, fuck you!"
   I batted her fragile finger out of my face like it was an annoying insect, took a step back as a precaution, and spoke the words,
   "Fuck off with all the presumptions, I've never had any complaints by all the woman who have frequented my reproductive organ. And by the way, I'm also an unemployed sponsored poet, bitch!"
    "Black lives matter, little dick!" replied the self-loathing college student.
   I was shaking my head saying, "Nobody ever said they didn't! Take a walk already! Time is precious!"
   She refused to relent. Her lecture persisted as white people drove by in Audi sports cars screaming out their windows, "Black power!"
   I reached in my pocket for a smoke, sparked it up with my white lighter, and thought to myself, maybe I should start watching CNN. The indoctrination is among us!
   "Honky scum!" screamed the annoying woman. "Using a white lighter is racist! You fucking disgust me! I bet you're voting for Trump, huh? You wanna make America white again!"
   I ended up pushing her into a conveniently placed puddle, ironically enough, on her left side, in a attempt to mitigate the harassment. That's when she screamed rape, and began to compare me to Christopher Columbus.
   I yelled out, "White lives matter!" as I pursued my original goal of attaining sustenance.
   About a block up from the latest disaster is when a white guy drove past me in a black Subaru, throwing a chocolate milkshake at my face. Luckily for me, I'd seen it coming, and ducked just in time. I heard the words:
   "Affirmative action won't save your white ass, motherfucker!"
   In a fit of rage, I took off after the Subaru driver in the middle of the street, screaming obscenities. My aggravated assault charge kept on driving. Freedom was mine, but at a heavy price I could not afford.
   I made a left turn onto Washington road when an older couple walked past me. I overheard the old man saying he didn't ask to be white. I remember the old woman saying something about Obama being the best president of all time, even though his mother is on the wrong side of the fence.
   At this point there was only a block separating me from my ideal destination, away from the madness. I decided it would be safer to jog the rest of the way. There was no telling what could transpire in this predominantly white, self-loathing neighborhood of Mt. Lebanon.
   Perspiration was building up on my back, when a car of angry white males pulled over next to me. For the love of a god who doesn't exist, why must I be singled out?
   "Get over here, nigger!" yelled the delusional white guy wearing a Michael Jordan jersey.
   I was attempting to catch my breath, inspecting the white skin tone of my body when I replied, "Bro, you obviously have me mistaken for someone else."
   He pulled out a crowbar from the backseat of his car and said, "You're going down, nigger!
   I ran head on into the moron who was prohibiting my path, punched him in the throat, and maneuvered through to my destination. No courtesy knock included. I let myself in.
   Joey came to the hallway wearing a black FUBU shirt. He was definitely startled by my disregard of etiquette.
   "Mario, what the fuck man?"
   "Dude, I'm sorry, but every self-loathing citizen in Mt. Lebanon wants a piece of my white ass! What the fuck is going on?"
   "It's old news now, man. The end is near. CNN has persuaded the white race to self-destruct because of our past transgressions. No big deal, man."
   I threw my hands up in the air, over my head saying, "What the fuck do you mean, no big deal? This is fucking ridiculous!"
   "Cool down, man. Have a seat, and enjoy what's left."
   That's when Joey got up to answer the door. He brought back another consumer who happened to be black.
   I took a look at the new gentleman I've never met before, and made my introduction.
   He gave me an apathetic gaze, and said, "Can you get your nigger ass out of my seat?"
   I balled up my fists and replied, "How about you go fuck yourself?"
   Joey offered him backup by saying, "Mario, things have changed in the past twelve hours, if you didn't happen to notice. What I need you to do right now is pay attention. Get it through your little head. We're the niggers now, okay?"
   My old friend anger was back again. I couldn't believe what was happening!
   "Fuck you!" I said. "This isn't right!"
   "Actually it is." replied Joey. "We must atone for the sins of people we've never met. Now get your nigger ass up or I'm not serving you. Your white privilege has been revoked!"
   I stood up to make my purchase, reassuring them that these FDA regulated drugs are a product of the white man. Then I pulled out my iPhone to sign into Facebook, also crediting the white man for these convenient inventions.
   Joey put his head down in shame. The black guy gave me the finger.
   I made a post on Facebook that said: If you're not gonna kill whitey, the least you could do is boycott his inventions! Within five minutes it went viral.
   I used Joe's bathroom as a drug haven, snorting line after line off his white porcelain sink. Then I felt the first narcotic shit of the day building up, so I decimated his toilet and didn't bother to flush.
   I was feeling better, but inadequate to what was, before all this self-loathing prevailed. I decided to leave. Not before slamming the door though, screaming out,
   "No white guilt, only white pride! Turn off that television! It's a product of the evil white man!"
   It was like a different world once I stepped outside. Discarded iPhones, and cars were everywhere.
   Unbelievable!
   That Facebook post really did go viral. It proceeded to get worse as I made my journey back home. All I wanted was a Big Mac at McDonald's, but that establishment along with all the others are now a distant memory. This was two months ago.
   The human race is slowly slipping into darkness, literally, due to the boycott of whitey. To me it's incomprehensible.
   The white male throughout time has given his creations to the world in order to make it a better place. To repudiate that, is to renounce our existence. What's really mind blowing is that people would rather die, than show acknowledgement. Now all we're left with is nostalgia.
   An era when lights flickered, toilets flushed, free porn was on the internet, and Woody Allen movies were on the television.