LIFEIt is the test that I just can't solve like a man trying to finish a Rubik's cube with no hands, It is unsolvable just when you think you understand something it turns out you really knew nothing at all so why do people go on wailing and thrashing through time the faster they go the faster time goes and then bang it is finished and you lay there waiting for the death breathe to come in fear for what you have never seen at least most people haven't how could they they are too busy making money selling product they don't sit down and try and solve what it is they are really doing they don't have faith that the wind can take you where you need to be to go only then will you see like me that it cannot be solved but it can be what it is meant to be THE TESTI took a long look at myself in the toilet mirror still not sure what I was, you think I would know after all these years I walked out of the toilet and saw five pound drop to the floor so I picked it up and kept shouting. "Mate, mate." but he kept walking. I ran after him caught up with him and told him he had dropped it As I walked back the man with his child told me I had done an honourable thing but if he wasn't there I may have put it in my pocket and walked off but still I wanted to go back to that mirror and say "You see I am a good person after all." Maybe the mirror gave me the test I don't know I am beginning to think it is all a test. GORMLEYAs I drive up the road I see a man on a flat roof he is like one of those Gormley statures. He is perfectly still as he looks out into the distance he does not move at all could almost be dead it is like he is looking at this land for the first time like it never existed before he got up on that roof and now he doesn't want to come down so he is turned to stone When I drive past later I will see if he is still there looking for something that he will never find. THE ARCHITECTThere is no feeling like the feeling you get when you wake up at four in the morning and know you are the only one alive the deadness the stillness you could almost be dead yourself and not know it. You start to think with a clarity that has alluded you your whole life no doubts nothing to hold you back and suddenly you want to build brick after brick those words that speak out from the darkness tell stories that no one will ever hear but they shout out of the silence like alarm bells warn the sailors of the rocks that lurk underneath. So you piece them together and you know you are making something you don't know or need to know what it is you only find out when you finish then you can stand back and see what it is as if you knew before you started then you look and know and see what it is and for once you know what it is The inner voiceI like the language that is in my brain thoughts that seem so pure they could almost come from the sun or from an angel. Sometimes I can almost speak them get close to them that pure language but you have to have an audience that wants to hear them. That wants love that wants something else. The way you sometimes hear people on a stage they find it the thoughts that can be spoken and time stands still as people understand they have found something that is not of this world. It is why I spend so much time there now my thoughts are my best friend A MILKINGFor some strange reason I thought a of asking a woman if she would milk me
"I beg your pardon." "You see I need milking even more than a friend. Friends are hard to find at my time of life." "Did you say you want me to milk you." "Well you only have to say no if you want, after al,l I only thought I would give it a try. She walked off shaking her head.
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