The United States of AwfulI’m disappointed in our country, but I’d still never leave Because I realize if we do the work how much better we can be In my short life I’ve already seen so much change in this country And a lot of it’s good but a lot of it’s also ugly I’m too used to seeing families on the news mourning Because some idiot came to school and shot their child without warning Other countries are looking at us and damn do we look ripe A bunch of do nothing, obese, entitled whiners Who won’t take action but love to gripe When we were young we used to cut grass and babysit But this generation here is the laziest When tragedies happen we come together and sing songs But man that’s what we should’ve been doing all along It seems everyone has their favorite reasons to hate each other We treat our women like objects instead of wives and mothers We make it all seem like some super hard riddle But we’ll lock you up for weed and give murderers acquittals We give big businesses tax breaks and deductions We got child abductions and government corruption We mistreated the indigenous people with no fear And ran them out just so we could make our home here It’s like we try so hard to outdo our own infamy We have money hungry leaders, racism, and bigotry We assume police will fail us and they behave true to form A good cop is barely more common than a unicorn We removed God from our t.v.’s, our schools, and occupations We’re decreasing our humanity while increasing our population We use hateful words and dirty looks instead of compliments And we’ve forgotten how to use our manners and our common sense We shove handfuls of unhealthy food in our faces It’s disgusting how much of what we have gets wasted Let’s turn this thing around before it’s too late So we can all still be proud to live in the United States Code TalkerWhen my boss asks me how I’m doing What she actually means is what am I doing Because here in the workplace we speak in codes And things sound like one thing but mean another In the world of fake smiles and pretending to care People ask you if you caught the game even when they didn’t They look up what’s trending to have something to talk about Then bring it up to hide the fact that their life is mundane They say “I guess we’re gonna stop on every single floor”, And chuckle But what they really mean is “I cant wait to get off this elevator” Everyone’s voice is just a little bit higher Because I guess a deep voice equals scary The people who take the stairs will be sure to let you know it And the people who work the hardest are given the most work When you ask someone how they’re doing, You almost never get a real answer Because honestly they’re miserable, And wish they were somewhere else So they say “Well I’m here” or “Another day in paradise” Followed by “How ‘bout this weather though” To divert your attention from the sadness in their eyes Then there’s lots of before’s and after’s Where you really just say the same thing twice Like asking someone if they have plans for the weekend Then asking them how their weekend was Or on every day but Friday you say “Is it Friday yet?” Then when Friday comes you say “Thank God it’s Friday” If a woman is beautiful, you can’t come out and say it Instead you have to use “You look very nice today” If you’re sick and don’t want anybody to know You simply blame it on allergies If you’re not sick but really need to take a day off You start coughing real loud the whole day before Nobody really cares about your kid’s baseball game And if you actually did do anything cool They’ll just use it to start some rumor or gossip, Like how does she have the money to do that, I wonder who watches her kids, Or I bet he does a lotta drugs and cheats on his wife There’s a guy who walks in with you the same time every morning That always makes sure you have your badge As if he doesn’t know you There’s the “Do you wanna buy Some of whatever my kid is selling for school?” lady And that idiot who always talks About that one Christmas party from 3 years ago When so and so got drunk. Haha, wasn’t that hilarious? No, it’s actually not that funny And believe it or not there’s still the guy Who points with both his hands and makes finger guns And people actually think he’s cool, but not as much as he does And the quiet guy with the headphones on Who’s always “listening to his music” Knows everybody’s business Because they think that he can’t hear them It’s kinda like high school all over again, Except you can’t cuss as much or get high in the bathroom You got the cool kids, the cliques, The teacher’s pet and the outcasts And personality will take you ten times further than ability “You’re special” is the nice way of saying “You’re stupid” And “That's just the way we've always done it” Means they don’t want your suggestion And if someone sarcastically tells you they hate you They mean it. I promise. They told me. If you make friends with someone of the opposite sex No matter what, people will think y’all are having sex People joke around about their work wives and work husbands But never go home and tell their real wives and real husbands The workplace is the fakest environment I know of I guess that’s why I’m so bad at it. I suck at pretending So if you see me in the hallway and I’m no good at small talk Don’t get your feelings hurt. I’m really just here to make money Award Winning PoemThe clock on the wall says 2689
And at 2700 I’m jumbled I might go sane What if my mind stops arguing with me? I swear I’ll make a fire and burn my slap bracelet I’m tired of being stared at by plangent grasshoppers Who quantify the unequivocal dalliance of the equinox As if they’ve discovered my awareness of their alien consanguinity I was friendly with the big one But two days before last he instructed me to strike the dog Undoubtedly she comprehended his uttering Immediately thereafter she ate him Bad dog I exclaimed as I hurled a toenail at her I strolled into the pervicacious effluvium I skulked the tornado I looked up at an all green sky In a startled collapse I spit My saliva metamorphosed into a cacophony of winged field mice That pummeled and divided a polyester piñata It spilled forth uplifting phrases my enemies had spoken of me On shards of paper that I stuffed in the pocket Of my canteen case. I was low on toilet tissue My TV had a flat tire but I lost the perfect baseball bat I needed to cut it into ninths I jumped the mud between the pick-up sticks and gassed the noodles from their hat The glowing shadow unraveled itself From a cross-legged epiphany I fell awake and laughed at the sadness of a herniated barricade beneath the most delicious lightbulb placard Once upon a time
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