RICK EDELSTEIN - BIGOT

​Rick Edelstein was born and ill-bred on the streets of the Bronx. His initial writing was stage plays off-Broadway in NYC. When he moved to the golden marshmallow (Hollywood) he cut his teeth writing and directing multi-TV episodes of “Starsky & Hutch,” “Charlie’s Angels,” “Chicago,” “Alfred Hitchcock,” et al. He also wrote screenplays, including one with Richard Pryor, “The M’Butu Affair” and a book for a London musical, “Fernando’s Folly.” His latest evolution has been prose with many published short stories and novellas, including, “Bodega,” “Manchester Arms,” “America Speaks,” “Women Go on,” “This is Only Dangerous,” “Aggressive Ignorance,” “Buy the Noise,” and “The Morning After the Night.” He writes every day as he is imbued with the Judeo-Christian ethic, “A man has to earn his day.” Writing atones.

---

                                           Bigot
 
 
I feel like I’m in a collapsing box
All is too tight from my shirt to my sox
I’m pushed inside to the unsteady ledge
Getting the ride ready to leap off the edge
casablanca sri lanka china carolina goa samoa gambia zambia libya namibia prussia russia
altoona laguna andora sonora aruba cuba
 
Ahhh okay...chant to the max
Helps me relax
Even though I toe the rim of mean
I have to go to words to escape the scene
With nothing to lose
Home of the blues
I’m just gonna’ ramble
And let the words scramble
Not for you to appreciate
It is time to depreciate
Do not attempt to realize
What logical mortals can’t surmise
I need not your permission
To simply own my sedition
 
By now you just may be aware
Said he as if I should care
Of all the media hip hop hyping
That yours truly is stereotyping
Saying that my mouth is like an open spigot
Damning me with a label of a broken bigot
I may be many things including uncouth
But BIGOT stands for Big On Truth
With such a masterful def to dine
God is a bigot not a chef divine
In his omnipotent self
Impotent tenants on the shelf
All kindsa’ shapes and forms
Judging others became the norms
No matter your programmed objections
Avoiding your liberal damned reflections
I won’t buy into your mark of wrong
As I continue to hark my atonal song
Just insisting that you feel and reveal
Beyond your listing to undo the real
You may beseech the reasons why
As each will certainly live to die
Don’t plug in your blanket of politically correct
Like it or not you have to disconnect
And stop blaming me for spouting clichés
Even Stevie can’t drive with directions from Waze
My rant can not be a one plus one equals       
Setting us up for soporific sequels
The world’s meal it deals is not a sensible fad
You can’t conceal the reprehensible bad
Take off your shades ‘n see what you find
Look in the glades and peel back the rind
Throw a dart in a part of the human condition
That charts the heart of prescient perdition
 
Okay time to get on to the nefarious track
Here are the facts for your elegant snack:
 
While I was serving
Afghans unnerving
My wife whom I loved but did not like
Wavered ‘tween sane and nutty psyche
Still she was once my wife
Who just so happened to lose her life
By trying to escape the perennial dues
Of human gloomin’ doomin’ blues
By cavorting and snorting an escaping drug
As deadly as a gaping .45 slug
I may be bent but not broken
A heated need heard but not spoken
Repeated the creed to get satisfaction
A man ain’t a man until he takes action
So when I left the lives of braying motherfuckers
Afghanis sell their wives to low paying truckers
Turbaned hustlers are like a leaking boat
While you plug the holes they steal your coat
With too many teeth missing amid stolen fuel
They lay a wreath while dissing casually cruel
 
My wife was crazy but she made me laugh
Her mind was hazy like a silent giraffe
Yet she mos def didn’t deserve to O-D
So I had to even the scales for me ‘n she
When I left the force I asked around
God’s Favorite Children of course I found
Yes I did a Duterte on the spurious gang
Folks got furious when the Latinos rang
But regardless of sharing your sensitivities
Ignoring your caring baring proclivities
God’s Favorite Children is the name they chose
Their goods go through the vein or the nose
God’s Favorite Children are the Mexican crew
God’s Favorite Children cook up their stew
And distribute a heaping of Amb-Fubinaca
A kilo gets half a mil and that ain’t no caca
By now you may have derided
The end of their game I decided
It was time for the planet to be finally rid
Of God’s Favorite Children whose highest bid
AK-47 24 Karat they labeled as master choice
Discarding any dissenting voice
Drugs made zombies out of all the users
And killed more than half of the weakened abusers
God’s Favorite Children left a deep taste
As I eliminated ten on a heap of waste
Three women and one lone teen with a gun
Fourteen years old and stoned for fun
He looked at me and couldn’t be higher
I aimed my piece and triggered the fire
But I was lurching and searching for the chief
Who got too rich on a bitch of grief
I finally located the drooling pig
Who was mixing and fixing in a bad wig
Jefe fed a dog AK-47 who had convulsions
I saw his eyes pleading in heaving revulsions
I asked el Jefe what did the dog do to you
Fuck him he said it’s from another crew
You shoulda’ seen the face of this ugly dude
Staring at me with a trace of crude
Daring me to challenge his realm of sin
Tight corn-rows, chipped tooth, an evil grin
I wounded him in his bad shoulder
But he stood up strong and got mad bolder
Charging at me I shot each of his legs
He collapsed like white boys’ fraternity kegs
Still alive he ventured to curse me boldly
Through dentured teeth I hearsed him coldly
I said comerlo porcina to this human depletion
Shot him in the heart for this swine’s completion And ripped off his Gucci gold doom necklace
Laughing coochie coochie in the gloom of reckless
Did I tell you the teen who I shot through the eye
He tried to surrender he didn’t want to die
But for me and my wife he had to go
I killed the puppy if you have to know
It was as if his aorta sprung a leak
As blood poured through his acned cheek
I feel like I’m in a collapsing box
All is too tight from my shirt to my sox
I’m pushed inside to the unsteady ledge
Getting the ride ready to leap off the edge
Puppy guppy baboon racoon bat cat beagle eagle calf giraffe crow doe deer steer eel seal fawn prawn germ worm buck duck camel mammal clam lamb
 
Ahhh okay...chant to the max
Helps me relax
 
So does all that rankle you comfortable folk
Who thankful eat eggs without a yolk
To say that the Mexicano dealers
Have nothing to do with Latino healers
That Mexico is filled with positive people
From great parks to churches with elegant steeples
From the Zocalo assuring us you can find
Mexicanos who are pouring and kind
Hiding in your exclusive liberal kinders   
It’s time to remove your delusive blinders
Here’s some info that will strike some fear
In Mexico’s first ten months of the year
There were seventeen thousand homicides
Swallow that with your bromicides
No I’m not validating that ignorant Trump
But we can’t ignore the score from the dump
No matter what your chosen stand
Opinions will not find a lost remand
It’s time for niceties to dissolve into lewd
Reality won’t absolve and will mos def intrude
 
Speaking of which
Try this bitch
Who deemed to favor
And seemed to savor
Condescending tough love
From the worn bench seat above
And no matter how I tried to nudge
No room at the inn from a black on black judge
Oh there you go I can hear ya’
Racist tags don’t make me fear ya’
As you try and punish me with blame
Asserting in God’s eyes we’re all the same
Don’t lay it on God with obstinate lies
Differences in races are not hard to surmise
Black dicks ‘n lips ‘n women’s butts‘re bigger
You can say the n-word but you can’t say nigger
Because we’re all the same is your redundant retort
But stop and look at the world of sport
Like in women’s tennis who is the best
Serena wins with her substantial chest
She’s going to wed a guy who is white
A match instead that’s outta’ sight
And 90 percent of the NBA
Are black men in the field of play
Speaking of the game
What is sadly lame
Is them playing muzac during the action
As if they need to juice the traction
But before it gets lost while your outta’ joint
Stop judging me and admit my point
That stereotypes and clichés
Are accurate in most ways
And if you think this indulgent limerick
Is just a rhyming chiming gimmerick
Or simply a matter of semantics
From a grown man way too pedantic
Insisting that this kinda’ contextual rapping
Was invented by Blacks in Bronx basement trapping
But even that is a canard
Check the rap of the Bard
Or Emily Dickinson or Robert Frost
Poets paid dues at a demanding cost
Like the rapper Bankroll Fresh was killed one night
His real name was Trantavious White
And many players of NBA fame
Have a distinctly different name
Like yes Kentavious Juvale and Tarik
Originality perhaps is what they seek
No I’m not doing a racist contriving
Black names are their spacious striving
 
Okay let’s not limit but dare to spread
The specious wealth of the living and dead
With dark humor at the tip of uncaring
Let’s take a look at our political daring
In fact it really makes me merry
To cop a peek at Rick Perry
Who yearned to be nominated
Or is it to be dominated
Insisting a department is out of date
But couldn’t remember midst debate
The Department of Energy...Ooops, too late
Rick Perry’s a clown to repudiate
In case you aren’t getting drunk in bars
Watching Perry Dance With the Stars
Check out the lout in Cabinet-Trump
Rick Perry will run the Energy’s sump
And how about a man with an attention span
Of a street kid playing kick the can
America’s demise is now evident
By electing him your president
 
Look at me who’s being busted
Only just because I dusted
Those who earned
The right to be burned
While Generals galore
Kill by the score
Drones dropping bombs
With graceful aplomb
Mothers dying
Military sighing
Apologizing target was an error
Tell that to orphans living in terror
And back in the good ‘ole u.s. of a
We’re in the grips of the N.R.A.
Mass murders of children in American schools
But the 2nd amendment keeps us fools
As the lobby got congress by the buns
Supporting sales of more and more guns
Remember the song Chicago Chicago the toddlin’ town
Murders galore is now Chicago’s renown
Killing in Chi-town is now routine
Black blood flows on the streets of mean
And if that ain’t enough
Things got more rough
Americans now own three hundred and ten
Million I said million guns and then
Each owner has an average of eight
Not only to kill just out of hate
Six hundred accidents every year
People die not intended I hear
Kill and kill sister and brother
Unfortunate deaths of one another
Families with children under fourteen
Ooops sorry you’re dead if you know what I mean
Even a two year old boy
Thought it was just a toy
When he found a gun on the floor
Of daddy’s car near the door
He pulled the trigger and shot through the seat
Killing his mother an NRA feat
I know it is a merciful respite you seek
But a toddler shoots someone once a week
And every thirty-eight seconds in U.S. of A.
Many try to off-themselves every day
And daily one hundred do the do
Eliminating their living view
At a rate of more than twice a day
Kids are shot ‘n killed without a say
 
Violence and war are not our way wink wink
We’re really just folks by the kitchen sink
While we raise the flag and sing U.S.A.
Leading in Arms sales as of today
Forty billion dollars at the arms bizarre
We’re ahead of the world near and far
We sold seventeen billion to Qatar
Including devices that will burn and char
Buildings and if people are near
Eliminates their fate have no fear
And to balance things in the middle east
Egypt’s twelve billion adds to the feast
Lest they feel left out eight billion more
To Saudi Arabia’s arsenals’ score
We love peace in the U.S. of A.
But drilling ‘n killing is the American way
And I’m being busted
For those that I dusted
To be burned at the stake
Give me a break
I feel like I’m in a collapsing box
All is too tight from my shirt to my sox
I’m pushed inside to the unsteady ledge
Getting the ride ready to leap off the edge
 
Altruistic nihilistic realistic angsterism gangsterism alaska nebraska I’ll ask ya noise poise boys toys girls curls best breasts light fight
 
Ahhh okay...chant to the max
Helps me relax
 
I’ve been asked why I rhyme
Taken to task for my crime
I do it as it amuses me
I do it because it confuses thee
Including the man with the power
Who sat up there with a glower
The judge the black one was deriding
That I was not law abiding
But how can a person abide
To what is rotting inside
Even the Chinese call the USA
Polarized night and day
Dissolute is a word they used
Dysfunctional and confused
With politicians so often corrupt
Treasonous reason is abrupt
Who can abide to what is not fair
There are no sides in this nightmare
So riding that thought and those words
I rocked on assuming the glooming turds
Would be easily and clearly heard
Even by an academic black nerd
So I told the judge don’t take a side
When there really is naught to abide
He may have heard but did not listen
With dull eyes staring nary a glisten
His orbs glazed as if I was dead
Not giving an inch or even a thread
I tried again and again to make my point
But even then the judge was out of joint
So I shouted you’re not hearing me judge
He glared and just would not budge
Grabbing my dick in an implosive diss
I snapped and rapped then abide this
Which of course the judge did not admire
My rant on his judicial pyre
When he pronounced out his sentence
I announced-not repentance
He said may God have mercy your soul
Mercy from a maniac is not my goal
Oh I can hear from every brainiac
Your God is not a maniac
He is a benevolent force from above
Who offers of course eternal love
And if I go too far in your judgmental libel
You refer me to God’s book the Bible
Which is a dastardly bastardly combination
In Leviticus gays are an abomination
Or selling your daughter into slavery
Exodus permits the knavery
And take Leviticus to your grave
As it approves of owning many a slave
God is good boasts your acumen
While children disfigured is beyond most human
Burn this infidel at the stake
Your God is Good - give me a break.
Even Epicurus who is long time dead
Indicting God he clearly said
If God is omnipotent and help not giving
To the maimed and starving barely living
If your God does nothing in the face of killing
Either he’s not able or perhaps not willing
Then why call him God Epicurus posed
Per Gertrude a rose is a rose is a rose
 
Enough of that let’s move the locus
And rearrange to change the focus
Let’s expand our views
And check out the Jews
Also unleash the scarabs
And invite the Arabs
I can feel and see your glower-full
When I ask why Jews are so power-full
Jews and Arabs are all Semites
With different agendas of wrongs ‘n rights
Release the dark and let in the light
But beware of the bark and the dog’s bite
Here’s the data, the relevant news
The world has 14 million Jews
Who won 15 dozen Nobel Prizes
Yet 2 billion Muslim surprises
Won only three despite the number
No, I am not saying they are dumber
Just a culture that is so severe
Only the Koran do they revere
While they oppress their women to obey
Denying their offerings of the day
Muslims curtail an open college
Denying to women all human knowledge
While Jews are a hundred percent literate
60 percent of Muslims are illiterate
Blaspheme the Koran and Muslims eradicate
Argue about the Torah while Jews educate
Muslims shout to Allah
While Jews nosh their challah
And in case you think I’m ignoring
The Jews who blink while snoring
Look at Israel’s Orthodox
A serious pox on a box of lox
An 8 year old Jewish girl was terrified
When orthodox Jews won’t be denied
Because her dress didn’t fit their ignorant code
They hurled rocks and eggs from their abode
On the bus Rabbis order females to sit in the back
In common with racists and the Muslim’s attack
Jewish extremists removed park benches
Saying women shouldn’t sit with their stenches
So the Arabs and Taliban and Orthodox Jews
All adhere to this repressive muse
Of course women are not like men
Demanding equality again and again
But reality somehow gets in a muddle
In the male/female contentious puddle
You got a pussy we got a dick
Straight or gay take your pick
But don’t go into feminists fits
Just because we like your tits
And to you dues paying faggots I must be blunt
How can you choose dry butts to a juicy cunt
 
TEN MINUTES!
Ten minutes you say.
Okay.
WANT A PRIEST OR A MINISTER?
That’s humorous or sinister
Ain’t this a bitch
I don’t have the itch
I’M JUST THE MESSENGER, MAN.
Listen bro’ not now or when
No minister or priest, see ya’ in ten
 
I feel like I’m in a collapsing box
All is too tight from my shirt to my sox
I’m pushed inside to the unsteady ledge
Getting the ride ready to leap off the edge
 
 
Ten minutes hard to relate
Can’t really concentrate
Rambling
Scrambling
One and one
All sense is done
Nonsense has the floor
Logic ran out the door
Truth to power
Is a wilting flower
The juices seethe
No room to breathe
Mother a mean-spirited beauty
Who never paid her maternal duty
Father shot through the head
I was just a kid when I saw him dead
What the fuck it matters not
Planet earth is ticking rot
New Delhi
Is smelly
Shortness of breath
Thirty G yearly death
Ignore climate change
Die home home on the range
Iranians hooked on meth
Not concerned with impending death
Using shisha to lose weight
Epidemic is a dire fate
I’m ranting
Panting
Nihilistic
Realistic
Hitler was not such a bad bloke
First campaign anti-smoke
All he wanted was healthy men
To say heil Hitler now and then
Christmas was illegal in u.s.a.
Eighteen hundreds pagan holiday
Before Pius became the Pope
He wrote an erotic book that was dope
Terrorism is good for the worn dying biz
Sells flowers to adorn the crying fizz
Street cleaners get neat overtime
Rid the flowers from the seat of the crime
In a hurricane I can dance
Am I still sane perchance
I am on pause
Looking for Santa clause
In summer
A bummer
Do not appear
To show any fear
Asking for repeal
Was not my deal
I coulda’ got it if I repented
For a life in jail I resented
To live and die in the slam
No way Jose no thank you ma’am
This world will soon self-destroy
For every lost girl and boy
This planet-earth just ain’t shit
I am absolutely through with it
 
TEN’S UP. IT’S TIME. READY?
Ready?
For the land of Nod
Yav Hashem, the hand of God
Who the fuck is ever ready?
-  -