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MARK ANTONY ROSSI - TAMPA BAY TANTRUM

5/15/2016

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Picture
Mark Antony Rossi's poetry, criticism, fiction and photography have appeared in The Antigonish Review, Another Chicago Review, Bareback Magazine, Black Heart Review, Collages & Bricolages,  Enclave, Expound, GloMag, Gravel, Flash Fiction, Japanophile, On The Rusk, Purple Patch, Scrivener Creative Review, Sentiment Literary Journal, The Sacrificial ,Wild Quarterly and Yellow Chair Review.
 http://markantonyrossi.jigsy.com



​                                Tampa Bay Tantrum

 


I recently attended a sporting event with my young boys and had an encounter with an intoxicated woman whom was incapable of refraining from using profanity in my family's presence. I mentioned it to her and she cursed right at me while my children stared in disbelief. Her husband turned around with a strange look on his face. At first I thought it was because his balls were still in her purse and he needed to retrieve them before he uttered a word. But then I realized he was searching for his pants since his wife had been wearing them from the beginning of their sad excuse for a marriage.

She was a season ticket holder who smelled like a Canadian brewery exploded in her filthy mouth. She proceeded to report my family to arena security for harassing them via rooting for the visiting team. None of this made any sense.  Why would anyone listen to the lunatic rants of an unattractive soccer mom desperately in need of a makeover and a twelve step program? But they did and threatened to expel me for causing a nuisance.

What a sad state of affairs. This backward place allows mixed drinks and beer sold two hours before the gate opens. This unsafe policy guarantees a sizable portion of the fan base would fail a sobriety test before they entered the building.  I'm in the wrong because my family is cheering for the opposing team. This crap pisses me off beyond all norms of better behavior. And I grab an empty beer bottle from a trash bin and toss it at the windshield of a patrol car parked nearby.  It was fun to watch the hippies being chased by local cops who usually get their jollies by harassing out- of-towners. Maybe the police will do something original like arrest someone from their own municipality.

Don't hold your breath. The only thing worse than cry- baby season ticket holders are small city cops whom act like their patrol area is an extension of the local mall where all they have to do is look tough and call for back up when someone utters an angry word. In a tired town torn between tantrums and tax hikes---Common Sense is smothered in its slumber and slyly replaced by rouge-wearing robots warped by entitlement and the lazy attributes that drag the driveways of disengaged drones. I don't pity these fools; neither should you. They drain the patience of an already hyper tense society.



 
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