HEAVEN HERZMAN - VALUES
Heaven Herzman is a student in the Creative Writing program in Orlando, FL. Her comic series CATastrophic Adventures chapter 1 was posted on July 6th, 2017 o this website: https://www.facebook.com/catastrophicadventures/. In her spare time, she works on game, art, logo, and writing projects. You can follow her on Twitter at @heavenhofficial.
It’s midnight. Celia pulled a couple of bills out of her bra and sat at the counter with Fireball whiskey in her hand. She glanced at her front door, thinking she heard a knock and mumbled, “Maybe my shoes finally got here.” The woman ventured to the door hardly holding her balance. Opening the door, she peered down to a brown UPS package. Getting excited, she grabbed the box and made her way to the counter. She had a hard time getting it open in her drunken state so she grabbed a kitchen knife to cut the tape. Her face quickly went from a goofy smile to a disgusted frown. A small rag doll was lying there. It had short, black, curly hair and brown sewn-in eyes. She tossed the doll across the kitchen, hoping for it to land in the trash can but it landed next to it. With a groan, she stumbled her way to her room and crashing on her bed for the night.
The next morning, she woke with a major headache. She went to the kitchen to find some medicine and hangover remedies. The bottle of medicine she had only had two pills left so she took them and tossed the container towards the trash. It missed. “Damn,” she muttered to herself. Going over to pick up the bottle she noticed the doll again. Throwing the bottle away, she lifted the doll into her hand. She felt angry and disappointed. With a sigh, she tossed it on the counter, grabbed her keys and left the house to go to the bar.
The jingling of keys from outside the door and the shakiness of the doorknob broke the silence among the house. The door opened and the woman fell to the floor, laughing. Moving her legs, she closed the door with her foot and just lied on her back. Staring at the ceiling with a goofy smile but her eyes held sorrow. She began to cry and sob rather obnoxiously. After her moment of tears, she got to the counter and was about to grab a drink, but again sees the doll. She ends up pushing the drink away and grabbing the doll.
“What do you want?” She glares at the doll, gently pulling on its hair. “I didn’t ask for you. It was a mistake. You were too beautiful and I wasn’t ready. Can’t you understand that? Why don’t you leave me alone?” She continued to rant until she finally rested her head on the counter, falling asleep with the doll in her hand.
The morning sun made the drunken woman awake in discomfort. With a groan and mumble she lifted her head off the counter with squinted eyes. “Fuck off,” she mumbled towards the window where the sunlight reached in. She started crying again, holding the doll close to her. She kept repeating, “I miss you, baby. I miss you so much.” Almost instantly right after she grabbed her keys, keeping the doll with her and left her home. She got into the car and placed the doll in the passenger seat next to her. Her hands gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white.
“I’m ready.” She turned the car engine on and began her drive out of the city. There was a lot of honking and yelling going on in the morning rush hour. She had a hard time dealing with the outside commotion so she turned the radio up. Keeping the volume down enough to not bother her headache, she tapped her fingers to the beat of the R&B playing on the station. Glancing at the time on her dashboard, which read 11:30 am, she perked up in her seat. “Almost home, baby girl.”
It’s noon. The woman parked in front of a tan house with a blue Impala outside. They’re home, she thought to herself. Grabbing the doll from the passenger seat, she gave it a long stare before glancing at the house’s doorway. With a deep sigh, she finally got out of her car and approached the house. She knocked a few times and waited. The wait seemed like forever. She almost wanted to run back to the car and leave the doll, but she stood her ground. She said she was ready and meant it. The door opened revealing a little girl with short, black, curly hair, and about 5 years old. The woman held back tears as she knelt down to be eye level with the girl. “Hey, baby. I got this for you.”
She handed the doll to the girl. The girl’s hazel eyes glistened. “I love it, mommy!”
A man called from inside, “Who’s that, Lola?”
“Daddy, it’s mommy!”
The man came to the door with a look of anger and confusion. He picked up Lola and held her looking at the doll in her hand.
“I came to give this to her, Darrel,” the woman explained. “If you’ll have me, I’d like to be a mother to her. I miss her terribly and I’ve stopped my… problem and I plan on taking classes. I just want my daughter again. Please.”
“We’ll talk about it, Cilea,” Darrel said. “But come inside for now.”
“Thank you so much,” Cilea said. She reached her hands out to hold Lola.
Darrel hesitated before handing Lola to her with a sad smile.