old flame in a minorwhen you were true making love with you was a jellyroll in blue your rhythm always perfect on the downbeat your gravel growl the counterpoint to the glissando of your tongue your fingers stretched flaming octaves across every key of my delight but now every note is sour a little sharp here a little flat there your memory a discordant jangle of minor seconds Rabbit In the pale spring sun I sit, enervated, frail, burdened with writhing demons that riot every day, infecting what should be calm with chaos. I am singularly ill-equipped to conquer them; if there is nothing rippling the surface of life's lake I invent something, some vague possibility of disaster, and then I am done for. Those devils take what I make and set it in a hall of mirrors, where, multiplied, magnified, its golem mouth gapes, raw and red, and swallows me as neatly as ever Jonah's whale swallowed him. Drink and chemicals are bandaids at best, temporary salves that solve nothing. So frozen I sit, afraid to move, wishing for nothing so much as a cloak of invisibility. a few things i forgot to say there is no strength like gentleness i know your strength you need not prove a thing to me wrap me in your gentleness and i shall be content the cacophony of the circus that is the world is drowning out the words i so need to hear come closer whisper to me the truth of your heart if you would understand me read me like a well-belovèd book listen with your eyes not your ears my speech is clumsy what i write is truth midnight music the symphony of the lost community you orchestrated pounds in my veins its syncopation my heartbeat you and i were charter members of that outcast tribe we knew every inch of that terrain it was mapped in our genes you walked those mountains fearless openhearted i lagged behind afraid of what i might discover when you fell you did it quietly with no surprise or apprehension you predicted it and owned it like the ancient soul you were i was not there to see you sail into blackness and had i been it would have made no difference what is to be will always be i could not rewrite the page you came a brief bright comet the instrument of my redemption rhyming…sort of life has a whiff
of brimstone about it the ground crumbles beneath my feet and the wind sings a dirge offkey even the sky is weeping buckets my pockets are empty my heart's empty too my eyes are surrounded by circles of rue all i desired was stolen by you life in perpetual midnight blue if it's truly better to marry than to burn than burn i will there’s no lover here for me but I won’t roast roast in hellfire only desire i carry a redhot torch
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