J. K. Durick is a writing teacher at the Community College of Vermont and an online writing tutor. His recent poems have appeared in Social Justice Poetry, Scarlet Leaf Review, Stanzaic Stylings, Synchronized Chaos, and Autumn Sky Poetry. Illness There’s distance in it – a loneliness, a hint of forever a yearning, a comparing a watching, a measuring of conversations in other rooms of knowing looks. There’s time in it – minutes to get through hours, even days a sequence of pills, of potions of needles, of questions, if there’s a TV, then that, or music, background music that becomes a symptom. There’s a generalization in it – personal without being personal a label, a consultation, a second opinion, a third forms to fill out, forms to send in. In it, there’s a call you won’t take, and there’s someone at the door, a door you don’t want to answer. My Neighbor’s Nurse She’s at the door again, patiently waiting, pushing the doorbell; he’s in there not answering. He’s 95 and afraid, angry at what life has done to his world – his wife, blind and deaf is finally in a Home, his children put her there, wanted to do the same to him, but here he is in the house he tended all those years. Not answering the door is the last of his pride playing its part, a bit of control in an out of control life. And, she’s at the door again, patiently waiting, a messenger from a disloyal world, the inevitable angel of time, the very last angel, his angel of death. Spiritual I remember the Spiritual, would have listed it, if asked, along with the Physical and Emotional as one of players in who I am, as one of that tri- umvirate that ruled my days and night, the trinity that made me tick, and I remember it fondly as that inner voice I used to talk to God, it was like this giant cathedral and I was this tiny voice in the back saying my say, offering and bargaining, even chatting a bit; I’d never hear back, but that never dissuaded me; God was, I had discovered, a silence that I trusted; I prayed, I examined what I did and didn’t do, came to conclusions based on things that I read or heard in school or in church, the gospel according to whoever was speaking, filling the silence that was I reserved for God, the silence that was my Spiritual self: the speakers in school and church confused the issue, and I became the Physical and Emotional self of today, sometimes intellectual, sometimes sensual, but always this voice in the back row trying to fill the silence I once thought was God.
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