ANISHA YADAV - WITHOUT ANY REASON

Anisha Yadav is currently pursuing her Masters in English from Bhopal school of social sciences. She got her four poems published in a quarterly journal literary herald and the poems were - “Journey in love”, “Timeless you and Timeless me”, “A new world awaits us” and “Getting back to life”. She wants to travel Europe by train and share her poetical journey with people someday and to get her another  poetry book published soon. And her journey with scarlet leaf review has started .The story “without any reason” is in fact derived from incidents close to her personal life. It is not just a story but a lesson that one  should never need any reasons to love someone, love should always be unreasonable. 

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Without any reason
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QUITE TRUE, Annie had consequently five break ups with her boyfriend and  as                happens in such cases she had given up on having a relationship further.
“Love on love book or even offline I don’t think bell(abbey)it’s possible with me, I only use face book for entertainment purposes and knowing something new about the world, but how I wish I could see the world, feel it…..”
And before Annie could continue ….abbey interrupted-‘ Babes it’s possible, at least give it a try-
‘Yes abbey, I tried in the best possible manner, I block one suspicious person daily. You know how that Falkland thing has been irritating me.’
‘Yeah, but you said you got over it.’
‘I guess, I did (questioning to herself- did I actually got over )’
‘Annie’-said abbey
‘Abbey…’
‘Ok so our results will be out by January third week.’
‘I hope so abbey- and what before than that.’
‘Bye dear, see you soon.’
‘Hey wait, you are leaving for home’
‘Yeah bell, I have to finish a couple a things on my way home, and before I go-
Merry Christmas and happy new year in advance.’
We both gave each to her a hug ….and before I could leave, the whole class was here -
‘Hey happy new year-Annie, same to you iris.
‘Abi – I had been looking for you, happy new year and merry Christmas in advance, and you remember what’s coming on 29th December…’
‘Off course I forgot, it’s the day my mom gave me sort of  birth’-
The brain -  (Annie trifled to mention her birthday, she loves it, but fate or let’s say her aunt puts her on a house arrest for the holidays so she has ultimately given up on a fact that she can even be free someday)
 Yeah – abi said
Yeah , I guess so.
We wished everyone and moved to finally leave for home.
“While driving her Scotty, she had a rush of thoughts, what she would do during this one month holiday, being a girl of an orthodox family , she was not allowed to work for part time, and she was in the heart of India so there were no weekend gateways  because the families pay fees, children study (only the brilliant ones or those mostly of metros, we see working ), but she never liked, she wanted to be on her own as soon as possible, those moments she spent with her friends were a new year in itself, how good it did be if Falkland(her-ex) would have understood these things. But let it be, all she want is to get good results in her exams. Her  mind often wondered why- why she had to live with her adopted mother, she wanted to go to her mother, this adopted mother has begrimed her with tarnish and smut. Anyways I’m third person narrator and I’m there with Annie to let you all know what her mind is thinking. She had a happy day is all she can say, and took a turn , finally she reached her house. Before entering the house she had a last thought, how happy these moments were with her friends, for a second it felt, today’s new year.”
After fifteen days-
Annie was busy cleaning her cupboard for the upcoming semester, suddenly a pile of old documents fell on her in order to fetch one old book- it was like ice-cream on sauce and noodles on custard, and off course Annie was the plate. She collected all the things and rearranged them, and those that were no more useful, were thrown in trash(quite against to her aunt’s wishes)and in one of her sociology books, a print date was marked 27th august, for a moment she stood and thought , what comes on 27th of august, why is this date so familiar.
The brain explained- “well but I’m also not less , I’m your brain whenever you strain me, I’ll give you most of undesired, but not what you desire.
Miss narrator continued- She finished all her work and ate dinner, and slept as usual, thinking why should she care about just a date it comes every year”
But  as soon as the clock hit midnight, she got up with a shock, it’s Jay – his birthday comes on 27th august, how can I be so stupid to not recall that.(and she went back to sleep).
The brain (enters again) - ok, now I won’t let her sleep , because, it’s her ex boyfriend from seventh grade. She had an smile as she recalled him, yes, it was the most natural smile she had in days after her break up, and I also brought her to notice that she blocked him no reason, and that the first thing in the morning should be….oh! she fell asleep …no worries I got to finish my repairing of her system in these hours, I’ll get back to work.
Well not the first thing in the morning, to unblock jay, but off course as she was free, she opened her face book account, and in order to unblock jay sharma, she had unblock three others. And sent him a friend request.
Annie-
Hi- do you remember me ?   (12:30 pm )
After  few hours – you have a new notification-
Jay accepted your friend request.
Jay –
Yes I remember you, how are you and where are you now- a- days ?  (2:30 pm)
Annie-
Hi, I’m good, and, I’m doing Bachelor of arts from, Sophie school of social sciences. And a certificate Course from cambridge university – BEC-Vantage. And I’m in this city itself.
Jay -
Hey by the way, I had sent you a friend request year ago.
Annie -  Yes, jay, this is why I’m here, I ‘m extremely sorry, I remember you had a girlfriend, and  what if , she would have not liked this, and I had my own issues, my ex-boyfriend betrayed, it’s like I closed my eyes and trusted him, and he kissed another girl, while my eyes were closed, so from there I kind of didn’t wanted to trust any men.  
Jay – Oh! That’s sad, but you should have not thought I would harm you, you know I’m good person , and about my girlfriend we both are not together any more, she left for somewhere else.
Annie- Oh! Jay I’m very sorry , (how I wish I had not blocked you, a year ago, can I not get that moment back).
Enter Annie’s brain again-
“Oh, sweetheart, you know if you were in my world, you’d very happy, well in your language, I’m aging with you, but in other worlds, I’m not, like, when I’m inside animals, there are no dates, no one has to remember birthdays and anniversaries, timings for cricket matches, keeping your things properly, and guess, animals, don’t need any passport and visas to travel abroad, time just keeps on passing for them, don’t you wish to be one-?
Annie thought –no…no…no..”
“Brain continued – ok then focus on present, if you were not there earlier In his grief , maybe now you can help him heal.”
Jay- That’s ok don’t be, it’s 1 year and 3 months long time to forget her. And I obviously hate her.
Annie-(Thought to herself- if you remember the time you are yet not over her)
Oh, so why did you actually break up with her.
Jay – There were some mutual disturbances, and she was leaving the city, and I didn’t want a long distance relationship.
Annie- Yeah, it’s really hard to get over someone. Anyways let’s talk about something else……so how’s is your family and if I’m not mistaken you had a sister- Anjie ….right?
Jay- Yes, she’s in 10th grade, and mom and dad are fine.
Annie- Hey, was your mom a teacher in school?
Jay- No, she wasn’t, she works for under government officials. why who told you that…?
Annie- Oh-no one did I was just confused.
Jay- Tell me more, what have you been doing in these years. And if you don’t mind me asking where did you meet this guy.
Annie-  Nothing much, just studied, and lived my life in the simplest possible manner, but yeah I’m the most stubborn girl child ever, and I’m kind of stupid and sometimes silly. I met him in college, and we started talking soon, and one day he proposed to me- but-that’s not sufficient he soon broke up in about 15 days, and then came to me from second semester, and then finally broke up with me during august.
Jay- oh! A lot of info in two minutes. That’s just normal, we are human beings, we can be silly. And what about your parents.
Annie-  They live in another city, and I’m staying here in Bhopal with my aunt, she actually adopted me while I was in 6th grade.
Jay- And your parents didn’t say anything?
Annie- No, actually we are kind orthodox  family, although my mom is working but she doesn’t have much right to speak about me , because my dad wouldn’t approve of it , he believes in his sisters a lot , and they are like goddesses for him.
Jay- That’s sad, so did you not argue to be not adopted.
Annie- Yes sad, but only for a few years, as soon as I would finish my graduation, and that is like one and half years from now and as far as the adoption is considered, children below 18 are not asked to give consent for their adoptive parents.
Jay- hey how come one and half years from now, we both were in same class?
Annie – actually, I failed in 10th grade, because I was not well, and so I had to repeat it.
Jay- It happens sometimes, and you were not well. Hey do you mind me getting back, after  sometime I’ve got some work.
Annie- Oh even I’ve to go, I forgot have to finish some domestic chores.
So see you later and take care bye.
Jay- Bye, take care and do you come online during  afternoon.
Annie- yes usually, but why?
Jay- just like that, it’ll be good to talk again.
Annie- off course we’ll , bye good night.
Jay- good night.
There was a sudden spark in Annie’s eyes, that spark or glitter which was taken away by the incident that happened last with her. She felt amazing, she didn’t knew why,  she was happy to have apologized. But more happy to have someone to listen to her.
Mr. brain- I’m back, and off course to- “miss third person narrator”  you should remember, that it is human tendency to find something in common, and this commonness brings us closer.
Miss third person narrator – ahem , ahem , I don’t think then we can ever fall in love.
Mr. brain- why?
Miss narrator- because we don’t have anything in common.
Mr. brain- I guess so.(why is she so sharp)
Miss narrator- so is it always necessary to have something in common to love?
Mr. brain – why shouldn’t we wait and let time unfold this mystery.
Miss narrator- I agree, anyways I got to go, I need to narrate about her again, see you later Mr. brain.
Mr. brain- see you later, Miss narrator.
Miss narrator- Annie slept peacefully and gilded in memories of the past, she was happy in just one day  to have him. next morning her routine began as usual, she got up, finished cooking, cleaning, washing utensils, and then finally completing some of her aunt’s work. And then she logged on to love book , to see if there were any messages from jay. Well, there were none, and she thought she was too excited regarding him.
Mr. brain- well, wait , wait, miss narrator, let me explain, if there’s one thing Annie doesn’t have is patience, she has to learn and understand , giving space to men.
Jay – Hi, so what’s up today.
Annie- Nothing much I was just going through your photos.
Jay- So how are they?
Annie- they are all good, and you’re looking quite handsome in that. Actually I’ve seen them all.
Jay- oh my god, all of them.
Annie- Yeah, I started with one and kept watching…
Jay – oh, even I have seen but you only had 10 pictures.
Annie- I kind of delete them, because of safety issues.
Jay- you had your lunch?
Annie- yeah, and you?
Jay- I did, my time is usually 10:30 pm  to 11 pm.
Annie- same here jay.
Jay- so what else are you doing  during these days.
Annie- I love painting on canvas and designing a few interiors for my house so just busy with that.
Jay- oh so you have studied interiors and decorating as well?
Annie- no..no I just like doing these, things that help me express myself, and people would admire about me.
Jay- that’s actually good, instead of wasting time, you were doing something productive.
Annie- yeah, only if my aunt thought so.
Jay- so why are you tolerating her, why don’t you leave her.
Annie- oh I really can’t she has my custody and we don’t live in America.
Jay- that’s true, so is your sister still dating that guy – Robert?
Annie- she is indeed, but I’m shocked you remember his name as well, and actually tomorrow we are leaving for her reception, she ran away and got married.
Jay- oh my god , are you serious.
Annie- off course I’m jay, and because of her I’m being kept in chains.
Jay- chains- of what kind?
Annie- chains of restrictions- I can’t go out with my friends, can’t leave my house after 5 pm, can’t buy the stuff that I like. And that’s my simple life.
Jay- oh! I don’t know what to say.
Annie- you don’t have to feel sorry, I’m well adjusted in my surroundings. And actually I’m happy, because, I ‘didn’t get raped, murdered, or faced any other issues.
Jay- but how is that justified, do you mean that getting out of you house would get you raped, murdered etc. where do you live Anne.
Annie- inside a house called jail. Jay I’ll catch you later, actually my aunt just called I’ve to do packing for tomorrow.
Jay – sure, bye.
Miss narrator enters- and then her aunt called and she got the news that they have to leave tomorrow and so got busy thinking what would she wear. There was excitement in her eyes not for attending the reception, but on meeting someone new, someone who knows how to correct her, someone who is interested in listening to her. Next day she went online and wished him
Annie- Merry Christmas and hope you have good time.
Miss narrator- A few days passed Annie went to her sisters reception and came back. But all this while there were some unspoken feelings, but a smile, which sometimes makes me think is it the first stage of love, or just some excitement building up. It was 3rd of January when actually there was a message from jay.
Jay-Hi, How are you, long time, no see?
(Miss narrator continues) This was the time of sheer joy for Annie, why she didn’t knew, and she even didn’t wanted to she was happy to just be able to talk to him but this simple hello from jay made her realize that not all men are cheaters, some men do care without any reason. Yes without any reason was the thing Annie had been looking for, she wanted to love somebody without any reason, like she loved her mom.
Mr. brain re-enters – miss narrator aren’t you telling a lot about Annie.
Miss narrator- yes, do you have something to add about jay, as of now.
Mr. brain- I think it’s time to remind Annie of her past, she must be warned.
Miss narrator- Mr. brain where do you get such hideous from?
Mr. brain- well, Annie feeds this to my sister, subconscious, and thus she serves as a trap for Annie?
Miss narrator- but you must not make her do this?
Mr. brain- miss narrator, I’m not willingly doing this, you know how she has been miserable during these years, you know miss narrator, I wonder if Annie must have never thought of going away from jay.
Miss narrator- wait, wait wait….so what’s the thing behind her past, I’m all messed up.
Mr. brain- so you are all messed up like Anne-?
Miss narrator- yes, I mean no…can you explain this thing from the beginning.
Mr. brain- let us go nine years back, when Annie even didn’t knew what love was, it was jay who proposed to her near that stage when they were in 7th grade, and Annie just said yes, without thinking why, did she loved him enough, oh! And a point to make while with Falkland she thought many times, what love was actually, and with jay, she just loved being with him, to repeat without any reason. Anyways further, since they were in school, and it was not considered good dating, jay’s ex-girlfriend complaint against them to the teachers and thus they had  to part their ways, however , they got back together, but destiny had something else for them, both shifted to different colonies and that was the end , where they didn’t say to break up, but just moved on….
Miss  narrator- well, that’s quite an amazing story, but wasn’t it too fast.
Mr. brain- it was, because Annie’s about to wake up and I have to correct the malfunctioning of her body parts.
Miss narrator- oh, continue please, but I’m now excited to know what lies further for them.
A few more days went by, they kept talking, and knowing about themselves, those messages had a touch of flirt in it, like-
Jay – so, did you find anybody perfect for yourself.
Annie- no, actually I’m confused regarding something, and somebody, I don’t know , at a moment I want a relationship, the other one I don’t. you know that person has begrimed me with insecurity, and I don’t feel like trusting anyone, what if this person also left me, or went behind his ex- girlfriend.
Jay- take time to think and then initiate, and don’t worry you are quite mature now, you know what’s good for you now.
Annie- actually I’m kind of wild cat, and dominate men a lot, so they don’t stick around much.
Jay- I like wild cats, and don’t feel insecure now, a dominating women is not what I’ve seen. The right one will always know your nerves.
Annie- aren’t you being a lot flirty today.
Jay- I don’t think, you thought I was flirting, just telling you the truth, and even if I was, then are you scared of my feelings.
Annie- no, not scared, just insecure.
Annie- thanks for the advice jay, it’s quite a relief to know, that at least you understand me. So tell me more, like what do you like favorite color, food, places, monuments, dream jobs.
Jay- why, why do you want to know all this, ok, so my favorite color is red, food continental Indian and Italian, Ahmadabad, Paris (yet to visit), want to own a house a in New Zealand, an apartment in Manhattan, and travel worldwide, and I want to be a CEO and an entrepreneur someday. But why do you ask all this and if you had, now tell me this all about you.
Annie- that’s like a lot of things to know, and same pinch favorite color red, and I want to travel across Europe someday. And there are many dreams to come true, but I believe in something you wouldn’t believe in ever.
Jay- and that is –
Annie- and that is if you tell your dreams they don’t come true. I mean I’m even not sure that this is fact or fiction.
Jay- fiction, purely.
Annie- oh, you know I just remembered one of the funniest incidents, that you don’t know yet.
Jay- what , what tell me fast.
Annie- why are you in a hurry
Jay, no, it’s something funny that’s why.
Annie- ok- so when we were in school, one day Shelley, was in class , she made it up having a headache, and then ate half of my biscuit packet by stealing , that I would save for way back home, and then there the locket you gave me and the ring she threw it away.
Jay- oh my god , that is indeed funny , I can’t stop laughing.
15th January
Annie- hi, jay how are you doing.
Jay- nothing much, so how’s college going on.
Annie- it’s good, I’m tensed about my results, but I just hope
Annie-  jay I need your help desperately.
JAY- Why what happened?
Annie- actually my ex-bf tried to contact me again, and wanted to get back to me. So I want to use your name, as my boyfriend, I promise I won’t spoil your reputation.
Jay- so you don’t want him back.
Annie- no, I hate him, he didn’t love , then cheated on me , and then pressurized me for getting more intimate with him. do you really think I would want to go.
Jay- no, no only a few people get their exes back, but if this was the reason you should never get back to him.
Annie- yeah, but first you give me the permission, because I’m kind of scared. Do you want your ex back.
Jay- yes annie, you can use my name. so what are you doing now?
Annie- just making some notes.
Jay- oh! We just study from books.
Annie- that we also do, but I make notes so that my exams go well, and I don’t have to collect matter from here and there.
Jay- that we also do.
Annie- that’s a good habit .
Miss narrator- so are they actually in love now?
Mr. brain- wait for a few minutes and you’ll see the change.
Jay –hey, do you remember we once decided to meet but couldn’t ?
Annie- of course, I remember, and I don’t know about hen but now I surely want to meet you?
Jay- me too, so where should we meet?
Annie- star-city mall.
Jay- why ?
Annie- because that’s closer to my college. Or if any other place you suggest, because I don’t know enough about this city.
Jay- star- city is perfect.
Annie- so which day
Jay- any day, let’s see when we both will be free.
Annie- ok I’ve a question, what kind of girl do you think I’m?
Jay- you are a good girl, and you care for everyone, and me as well.
Annie- so what would you’ve said if I was your girlfriend.
Jay- well if you were my girlfriend, then would there had been a need to say anything.
Annie- ( asked knowingly ) – so you would not speak to her at all.
Jay- no, no if you were my girlfriend then I would  speak more than usual. But why are you asking these questions suddenly.
Annie- just like that .
Jay- ok, annie I understand.
Annie- what
Jay- nothing.
Annie- look you are hiding something from me, tell me please.
Jay- why are we flirting around.
Annie- I’m not you are.
Jay- oh my god, you are doing that again
Annie- jay, ell me your feelings straight away.
Jay- why, why should I tell you that
Annie- jay tell me your feelings once and for all?
Jay- ok annie, I like you a lot.
Annie – even I like you a lot, or better put as I love you, I love you jay.
Jay- I love you too, Annie.
Annie- so why didn’t we tell this to each other earlier.
Jay- I don’t know.
Annie- But I love you.
Miss narrator- that this was the end of a story that waited for years to be completed. And it’s my time to go now.
Mr. brain- miss narrator, you didn’t tell, what was I like.
Miss narrator- you are amazing Mr. brain, but I hope you’ll take annie in a good direction.
Mr. brain – forget about her, what about you, would you like to stay with me.
Miss narrator- well I guess I’ve nowhere to go, till you are living, till both of them continue living, till the time and end , I will stay with you.
Mr. brain – I guess now it’s a happy ending.
Miss narrator- and for those of you who thought like annie, loving someone again was difficult, think again is It really?