JERRY GUARINO - SHORT-STORIES

Jerry Guarino’s short stories have been published by dozens of magazines in the United States, Canada, Australia and Great Britain. His latest book, "Café Stories: west coast stories", is available on Amazon.com and as a Kindle eBook. Please visit his website at http://cafestories.net

​Ice Cream Girl

​Remember the song that played on summer afternoons, as the truck pulled into the neighborhood?  It was the clear sign that the ice cream man was here.  All the kids would run over and get in line, holding a dollar from their mom or dad, ready to get a push pop, ice cream sandwich or another of the dozens of treats pictured on the van.
 
            That large ice cream truck has been replaced by a motorized tricycle with a small freezer, no bigger than a golf cart and no longer driven by a man looking like Captain Kangaroo.  No, now the treats were delivered by a young girl, in her teens with a long pony tail, cut off shorts and tie dye t-shirt, the ice cream girl.
            Marley (vegan dog) and Jeri (stoned cat) were the first to notice her, hiding in the bushes hoping to get a treat dropped by a young child. 
 
            “Marley, what’s happening?”
 
            “See that girl, handing out ice creams.  Her name is Nikki.  And that boy holding the child’s hand is Tommy.  He likes Nikki, but he’s afraid to ask her out.”
 
            “They would make a cute couple.  Can we help them get together?”
 
            Jeri tilted her head.  “I’ve got an idea.”  She bumped into a little girl, who dropped her ice cream cone.  The girl started to cry.  Jeri was quick to lap up the vanilla treat.  Tommy stepped up.
 
            “Don’t cry little girl.”  He handed Nikki a dollar.  “Please give her another cone.”  The little girl smiled with gratitude.  Nikki was smiling too.
 
            “That’s very kind of you.  I’m Nikki.”
 
            “I’m Tommy.  No little one should lose their ice cream.”
 
            Marley smiled.  “Well done, Jeri.”
 
            “I think we need to do more.  Tommy isn’t asking her out.”  So, Marley and Jeri recruited Larry Bird (the cockatoo) to follow Nikki and Duck to follow Tommy and find out more about them.
 
***
 
            The next week, the birds came back with their report.
 
            “Well, if we’re going to get these two together, Tommy is going to have to know something about Nikki.”
 
            “What?”
 
            “Well, she just broke up with a boy who was cheating on her.  She won’t stand for that.”
 
            “Of course, most girls wouldn’t.”
 
            “But that’s not all.  He was cheating on her with her mom.  She caught them making out in the house when she got back from her ice cream job.”
 
            “Oh my!  That’s got to hurt.”
 
            “Yes, so Tommy shouldn’t push her into a relationship right now.  She needs time to recover emotionally.”
 
            “Duck, you’ve been following Tommy.  What’s his state of mind?”
 
            “Not good.  Tommy’s been getting ready to ask her out, even going over to her house to do it in person.”
 
            “That could blow up big time.  If he happened to be there alone with her mom, waiting for Nikki to come in.”
 
            “We have to follow Tommy and intercept him.  He can’t go over there yet.”
 
            So, Marley, Jeri and the birds tailed Tommy.
 
            Soon, they found him buying flowers and walking towards Nikki’s house.  Nikki was finishing her ice cream route, so he would get there before she came home.  Disaster.
 
            Marley rolled around in some mud, then ran up against Tommy’s pants. 
 
            “Argh.  Damn dog.  Now I have to go home and change.”
 
            Crises averted for the moment.  Tommy would have to wait another day.
 
            The next day, Tommy tried again, but Larry landed on Tommy’s shoulder.
 
            “Hey.  Get off me.”  But Larry just smiled and stood there.  Tommy tried to shake him off, but to no avail.  And duck walked in front of Tommy, interrupting his gait.
 
            “What is this, a Hitchcock movie?”
 
            Larry started pecking his neck while duck nipped at his ankles.
 
            Tommy screamed and ran home.  One more day of relief for Nikki, but the animals knew they couldn’t keep Tommy away forever.
 
            He decided that a lesser gesture might be more effective.  No flowers, no showing up at Nikki’s house.  He would just approach her at the ice cream truck.
 
            The next day, he waited behind the little kids getting their treats.  Marley, Jeri and the others watched quietly from a safe distance.  When he was the last one there, he handed Nikki a dollar.
 
            “May I please have a creamsicle?”
 
            Nikki smiled and handed him the frozen treat.  “Of course, Tommy.  I haven’t seen you here in a while.”
 
            “I’ve been thinking about the future.  How have you been?”
 
            “Well, I had a problem with my old boyfriend, but I’m over that now.”
 
            “I’m glad to hear that.  Would you like to talk about it?”
 
            “Maybe we could.  What are you doing later on?”
 
            “Not much.  Can we meet down by the beach for a burger?”
 
            “I’d like that Tommy.  Six o’clock good?  I’ll bring the dessert.”
 
            Tommy and Nikki smiled.
 
 
 
            

Jack and Jill

​ 
            Jack and Jill pedaled up the hill in the bright sunshine of a Washington State morning.
            “Sweetheart.  I’m getting too old for these climbs.”
            “I know Jack.  My knee is starting to ache.  But I love our bike time.”
            “Maybe it’s time to get one of those electric bikes.”
            They ordered two eBikes from California, backordered because of the demand.  After a few weeks, Jack opened an email to say the delivery was on its way.
            “Jill, the bikes are leaving California today.  They should arrive on Friday.”
            “I can’t wait!”
            Meanwhile, Tim the delivery driver was winding his way up from the central coast towards Seattle.  Tim loved his job, often stopping along the way to get local treats and generally smelling the roses.  He was not a type A driver.  Although he was only 19, he had the soul of a 1960s hippie.
            His first stop was in San Francisco, delivering some tie dye fabrics for a small clothing boutique in Haight Ashbury. 
            The owner opened the box right away.  “Oh, these are just perfect.  We can make more t-shirts for the farmer’s market this weekend.” 
Tim was intrigued.  “Do you have any shirts done?”
            “Of course, take a look in our shop.”
            Tim browsed the display of colorful shirts, some with peace symbols and some with words.  He finally settled on a blue, orange and green shirt with the words ‘take it easy’ on the back.  He put it on over his uniform shirt.
            Back on the road, his next delivery was in Berkeley, home of the University of California and peaceful protests that hadn’t completely finished from 1969.  Easing down Channing Way, he pulled into the Solar Car Wash (yes, that’s right).
            Opening up the back door, he pulled out two large boxes of solar panels and handed them to the owner.
            “Say, how does this work?”
            “The solar panels store electricity and power the car wash brushes.”
            “What happens if it’s cloudy?”
            “Well, then it’s hand washing until the batteries are full again.  Say, your truck looks like it could use a cleaning.  Half price for delivery trucks.”
            Tim smiled.  “All right, but make it quick, I have to get going.”
            The truck was all lathered up and moving through the wash cycle when the system shut down.  Tim’s truck was locked in the middle of the machine; he tried to see out of the soap covered windshield.
            “Uh Oh.”
            “Hello?  The wash stopped.”
            “Don’t worry, my friend.  The backup generator should kick in any moment.”
            An hour later, the car wash started up, the soap having dried onto the delivery truck and Tim came out the other side.
            The owner apologized.  “I’m so sorry.  No charge.  Take it easy.”
            “No worries, but I have to get going.”
            Driving up University Avenue, he saw a group of women offering car washes.
            “Might as well get this dry soap off.  My truck looks like a pop art experiment.  What are you raising money for?”
            A pretty coed in cut off jeans came up.  “We’re donating money to the shelters in town.  There’s a lot of homeless in Berkeley.”
            “I see.  We’ll, here’s $10.”
            Tim thought to himself.  I should have gone to college.
            The Cal sorority girls did a quick, but thorough job cleaning the truck and Tim was back on the road towards Oregon.  He came to a fork, either 101 North, the coastal route or I-5, the faster interstate.  Tim took the slower road along the coast.  That may have been a mistake.
            By the time he reached Eureka, he was exhausted and hungry.  He decided to eat, stay at a motel and get an early start in the morning.  He overslept.  It was 10:00am when he woke up.  He grabbed a fast food order from a drive thru and started driving, knowing he couldn’t make up the time by speeding.
            “I should have taken route 5.  It’s mid-day Thursday and I’m not even in Oregon yet.”
 
            Meanwhile, Jack was checking the status of his bikes.  “Still says Friday by the end of the day Jill.”
            “Great, it will be perfect weather for a ride.”
 
            It was Thursday night, when Tim arrived in Troutdale, Oregon, a small town outside of Portland.  He parked his truck to get dinner at a local diner.
            Inside, he ordered a burger.  A pretty waitress brought it to him.  Her name tag said Heather.  She wore bell bottom jeans, a red Danskin top and flip flops.  Her hair was long and straight.  All she needed was flowers in her hair to complete his fantasy.
            “Would you like anything else?  We’re about to close.” 
            “Where’s a motel?”
            “I can show you.  Let me close your tab and get my things.”
            Tim was starting to get excited.  Maybe this is the beginning of something.
            Heather took Tim to her apartment, a two bedroom she shared with a girlfriend.
            “Sit down, would you like some wine?”
            “Sure.”
            Heather brought a bottle.  They shared it, along with some pot.  Tim was totally relaxed as was Heather.  They made love.  Heather brought out two brownies.
            “Here, try these Tim.”
            They both ate the brownies, hungry from the wine, pot and making love.  What Tim didn’t know was the brownies had LSD in them.
            It was Sunday before Tim left, but he didn’t mind.  He had spent days with his fantasy flower girl and the best love he had ever had.  She kissed him goodbye. 
            “Hope to see you again Tim.”
            He stayed the night.  He could get up early to deliver the bikes to Washington, only a few hours north.
 
            Jill got an email from the shipping company.  The delivery date now says by the end of the day Monday.  “Jack, the bikes won’t be here until Monday.”
            “Man, that’s disappointing.  Three days late.  What happened?”
            “It doesn’t say.”
            “Take it easy, dear.  We’ll have plenty of time to ride.”
***
            Tim pulled onto his final stop to deliver the eBikes for Jack and Jill.  They came out, a little perturbed.
            “Finally, we thought these were coming on Friday.”
            “I’m sorry guys.  You wouldn’t believe that disasters that I had to go through to get these to you.”
            Tim left for California.  Jack and Jill started to unpack the bikes and began the assembly, following a video provided by the company.  They had almost finished the bikes when they came to the last step: attach the seat and secure it.
            “Where are the seats dear?”
            “Check the boxes.”
            “I did, they’re not here.”
            Tim returned to Troutdale to rendezvous with his new lover Heather.  After another day of bliss, he had to return to the bike company in California.
***
            “Tim, where have you been?”
            “Why, I just took my days off in Oregon, seeing the sites.”
            “A customer in Washington said you didn’t deliver the bike seats.  We had to fly them up overnight.  Cost us $100.  We’re docking that from your pay check.”
            Tim checked the back of his truck.  Under some packing blankets, there they were, two eBike seats.
            “Guys, I’ve decided to go back to school.  There’s a nice junior college in Oregon.”
***
            Tim settled into a nice college life with Heather. 
            Jack and Jill could finally go up the hills again.

​Marley’s Next Adventure
 
​

​ 
            Marley (the vegan dog) and Boston (the labradoodle who was allergic to dog dander) were watching their pups at the pond.  It was a summer romance, but now the work of parenthood lay heavy on Marley.  His eye was wandering to other dogs, maybe one of his own breed, a terrier.  Dogs don’t mate for life.
            “Marley, aren’t the pups precious?”
            “Yes, dear.  The best of both of us.”
            “My owners were surprised when I gave birth.  They are still looking for the father.”
            “I’d rather you kept that between us.”
            “Are you ashamed of me, of our summer romance?”
            “No dear.  I just think in today’s mores, to live and let live.  It’s not like we share the same house.”
            “This isn’t the summer of love.  What about commitment?  What about fidelity?”
            “We can still be friends.”  Marley wandered away and Boston whimpered.
***
            You see, Marley was a brown and black Yorkshire Terrier (15 pounds) and Boston was a large white labradoodle (60 pounds).  So, Marley’s desire to meet other dogs wasn’t racism, just practical romance.  He still had warm feelings for Boston, but wanted to be with someone more like himself.
            That’s when he met Rachel, a pretty West Highland White Terrier. 
            “Hi.  I’m Marley.”
            “I’m Rachel, nice to meet you.”
            “You have a lovely coat, so fresh and clean.”
            “Probably the diet of chicken and fish my owner gives me.”
            Marley perked up.  “I love chicken and fish, but my owners are vegans, so I never get them.”
            “I can share with you if you like.  Let me show you where my house is and you can meet me there after dinner.”
            Marley thought to himself.  This may be the perfect girl.  But how can I impress her?  Maybe I should introduce her to some of my friends: Duck, Larry Bird and Jeri, the stoned cat.
            Marley and Rachel spent the rest of the day together and for many days afterward.  True to her word, Rachel brought out some chicken and fish to him after dinner, providing the romantic background for some after-hours cuddling.  Fortunately, both of them had doggie doors in their houses, so they could come and go when they pleased.  Not so for Boston, who had to wait for her owners to walk her.
            So, Marley and Rachel didn’t run into Boston, not even at the pond.
            Rachel’s owners took her out for a walk on a Sunday morning.  Rachel steered them over to Marley’s house.  He saw them coming and barked his owner to take him out too.  Soon Marley and Rachel were walking side by side as the owners chatted.
            “Your Yorkshire is so pretty,” said Rachel’s single mom.
            “And your Westie is too,” said Marley’s dad, who was clearly attracted to more than the dog.
            Soon, these meetups became more frequent and Rachel’s mom was encouraging the flirting from Marley’s dad. 
            Not surprisingly, Marley’s dad was invited over to Rachel’s for a drink and before long they had started an affair.  Marley and Rachel found themselves together most of the time.
            After a month, Marley’s mom was getting suspicious. 
            “You seem to be taking a lot of walks with Marley, at all times of day and night.”
            “Well, it keeps him healthy.”
            “Maybe I should be walking him more often.”
            “No, I don’t mind.”  This made her even more suspicious.  So, she attached a tiny camera on Marley’s collar and tracked it over the internet.  Before long, she had her proof.  Her husband had been seeing another woman, even using dog walking to cover up their affair.  She saved the video and contacted a divorce attorney.
            Meanwhile, Rachel’s mom was getting tired of preparing vegan meals for Marley’s dad.
            “Why can’t you have normal food?  I need more than vegetables to survive.  What about a pizza?”
            “They make vegan pizzas.  I’ll bring one over.”
            Needless to say, Rachel’s mom did not like a vegan pizza and thus began the end of the affair between them.
            Marley and Rachel were relegated to their secret rendezvous meetings.  But their romance continued for some time, even though their time was restricted.
            Meanwhile, Boston was searching for another companion, but kept caring for the mixed breed pups of terrier/doodle dogs.
 

​Angry Birds

​ 
            Tim and Sally had finally found their dream home, four bedrooms, four baths and a loft office with an upstairs balcony, situated on a northwest harbor town with a view of Mount Rainier.  Even though they were empty nesters, retirement meant they had lots of room for visitors and family, especially the seven grandchildren.  And the house was new construction, nothing to maintain or worry about for years.
            A tidy backyard meant just enough room for a small garden, a 325-foot wooden deck and a hot tub, tucked neatly under the second floor so you could use it year-round, even in the rain or snow.  On the deck was a long teak wooden table, teak chairs with cushions and a square fire pit for winter warmth and roasting marshmallows with the kids.  Umbrellas of course, the rainy season lasts about six months here, but that just made the right touch for a garden to flourish.
 
The garden yielded fresh lettuce, tomatoes, eggplants, zucchinis and raspberries.  A small patch for a basil plant meant fresh Italian Caprese salad.  That left a manageable 200 square feet of lawn, easy to mow and for the toddlers to play a small soccer game.
 
Tim loved wild life, especially birds and bunnies.  He dropped small carrots near the back fence and watched bunnies come each night to eat.  Soon, there was a family of rabbits visiting from the forest behind their house.  Sally thought the bunnies were leaving poop on the lawn, but Tim didn’t care because the grandchildren loved seeing the bunnies.  Tim just mulched the poop into the lawn, a feature, not a bug.
 
He put up plastic, transparent bird feeders on the living room window.  Before long there were dozens of small birds feeding there; Tim and Sally could watch them from the living room.  Sparrows, robins, finches, wrens, warblers, chickadees and many spotted Towhees.  There was even a large, blue Stellar’s Jay which landed on the window feeders with a boom.
 
So, the birds and the bunnies made up their peaceable kingdom, in their scenic backyard. Until one day, Sally heard something scattering in the walls while they were watching television.
 
“Tim, there’s something in the wall.  Mice, maybe a squirrel, maybe even a rat.”
 
“Sally, are you sure?  I didn’t hear it.”
 
“Mute the tv, then listen.”
 
Sure enough, they both heard something pitter pattering in the wall.  They called in an exterminator.  He showed them mouse droppings in the side of the house, next to the hot tub.  “Ma’am, you could definitely have mice in your walls.  I’ll set up a trap in your crawl space and check back in a week.”
 
“What do you think is attracting them?”
 
“Well, I think the seeds scattered from your bird feeders.  I would take those off the house.  And fill up this crack on the side of the house with spray in foam and some metal mesh.  That’s where they are coming in.”
 
Tim was crestfallen, but reluctantly took down the bird feeders.  Sally filled the crack with metal mesh and sprayed in the foam, which expanded and hardened, sealing the hole.
Well, the next day two mice were caught in the trap.  Tim tossed them into double bags and into the garbage.  The sound of mice had stopped but Sally was concerned about the mice having made babies before they were caught.  She scoured the house looking for mouse droppings, unfortunately finding some in the pantry.  She went on a cleaning frenzy.
 
Tim lost his favorite bird sanctuary, but he still had the nightly bunny visits. 
 
There was just one problem.  The dozens of birds that had been visiting for over a year were suddenly out of food and were not happy, you might even say they were angry.
 
They sat on the back fence staring at the window where the bird feeders had been.  Tim could no longer leave his blinds open for fear of antagonizing them.  He couldn’t enjoy a drink at sunset on his deck because the birds were waiting for him.  His castle was becoming a prison.  Then things got worse.
 
Birds flew at great speed from the back fence on to the window, pinging it with their beaks.  After a while, tiny chips were visible in the glass.  Tim feared that the Stellar Jay might come back and that would mean a broken window for sure.
 
“Tim, the birds are going to break our window.”
 
“I know Sally, but what can I do?”
 
“We could get a cat.”
 
“No, two of our grandchildren are deathly allergic, they couldn’t stay over.”
 
***
 
            Tim placed a large poster of cats in fierce portraits on the window.  The birds stopped ramming the glass window, but that created another problem.
 
            They started attacking the bunnies when they came over to eat.  And they stole the carrots that Tim would leave for the bunnies.  So, Tim had to stop feeding the bunnies too. 
 
            When the grandchildren came over, they looked for the bunnies and the birds.
 
            “Papa, where are the birds and the bunnies?”
 
            “On vacation, kids, on vacation.”