R SOOS - POEMS

R Soos is a teacher, poet and musician, and  has been published in over 200 print magazines, and has 20 books of poetry, including Somersaults With Life (2016), Parting/Departing (2015), Bringing In The Sheets (2012). His books may be purchased at on-line bookstores. His poetry appears online in Peacock Journal, Tuck, Leaves of Ink, Micropoetry, Random Poem Tree, Cuento, In Between Hangovers, and others. His video poems may be viewed on youtube. His latest chapbook, Cell Notebook, will be published in December, 2016. He blogs at http://rsoos.com

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incessant eulogy
 
in constant service to public suffering
he decides on a quiet force of self will
 
to judge the inner chaos of his own past
in a carefree and advantageous manner
pouring a silken salve on his fragile ego
 
his intention toward a noble reputation
predated his actual fear of a lonely death
 
he learned to praise God with a thankful heart
and walk through town using virtuous manners
toward everyone he greeted, with conviction
 
in service toward an attractive future legacy
no one who lived with him would recognize
 
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pleasantly honest
 
stories of bread and wine are
locked intimately in her heart
friendship listens to her bitter lament
about dreaming in the hot hell fires
her body ordained with colored inks
displaying a child's dance of sorrow
 
each request for death rejected
by her father despite his own faults
and pretense to total omnipotence
while hiding the dungeons of his mind
from all his neighbors and co-workers
 
comprehension of eternal condemnation
evident in his external manner toward them
 
as her father he could have absolved her
of the perverse demons controlling his thoughts
 
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mountain thoughts
 
covered with perspiration
he wavers on the precipice
looking out from this altitude
at what feels like eternity
firmly establishing natural laws
which people could obey
without fault or guilt
 
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a familiar conscience
 
witness them being whipped
for hours with braided rope
as entertainment for honest
governors of the eternal night
 
esteem the wealth of character
in these men laughing as fools
while souls are voluntarily risked
to save a child and loving wife
 
distance yourself from joy
crawl from the on-looking crowd
 
 
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passionate repentance
 
still exhausted from the defensive struggle
with regret and self anger unable to control
the imprisoned desires which expect suffering
 
she has overcome torture rushing to weaken
mercy which could rescue her self-doubts
from the forest of masterful dedicated lies
 
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whisper
 
I live my own life
I like to believe in this
crazy as it seems