All I can do is write I cannot fix shelves or work in factories.
I am not that person anymore, so that is why I write and continue to write and hope people get something from what I write.
The stationary long playing record
glistened in the sun.
Not the wet of vinyl
but the captures of the clouds
and golden paint of the sun.
I get the feeling
you should tell paintings how beautiful the are
even though they can't hear you it would be good if they knew someone was watching
looking at them
and it would be easier then to tell strangers of their beauty
even if those women don't know
I see it
and it burns my heart
that they are not being told enough.
I went to the doctor's with a bite on my leg
she pulled the curtain and told me to jump up on the bed.
For a split second I thought about taking my trousers off
but kept them on and just rolled up my trouser leg.
I couldn't help but think she was a little disappointed that I hadn't taken my trousers off.
When we sat back down she started to touch my hand
and then she asked me if there was anything else she could do for me.
She certainly could
but like always I kept my mouth shut
and another chance passed me by.
GO IN THE BUSHES
We came out of Argos and went to the car.
A family was getting out of their car.
The girl about 12 or 13 starting pulling on her mother.
Her mother pointed to the bushes.
Like a train wreck or that person about to jump off the building you know what is coming but you can't turn away.
She went into the bushes which didn't hide much.
Within a few seconds you saw that porcelain white never seen the sunlight butt squat down.
Me and her laughed.
I even waited for her to finish then beckoned her across the road and she smiled at me
and had no idea we had been watching her for the last 5 minutes.
NOBODY TO WRITE HOME ABOUT
Everyday I feel I am about two seconds away from insanity.
Two seconds away from oblivion.
When I talk to people which is rare
I feel sure they think I am crazy
either that or they ignore me
or try to get rid of me as quick as possible.
I don't blame them though
who am I anyway
nobody too important
nobody to write home about.
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
I think about getting a blind dog or one of those canes
so I can wander around and when I get close to a woman I can grab them
and get away with it.
I guess it will only work so many times before I get arrested
and then I would have to pretend to be blind
and have to piss on the floor to make them believe me
but I can only do that for so long.
Today a woman asked me to touch her.
"Look feel me, I am hot." She said.
"I know you are hot. You are hot." I said.
I didn't want to feel her I wanted to fuck her.
Dance your fingers over my chest
then drive them through the un-pubic hair
like a child pushing sand
leaning in with all their weight on those spread fingers
give me those hungry eyes devour me like you have never seen a man before
never turn away not even in sleep
lick my face and beard like a dog
vice me with your thighs
mount me like a horse
ride me like a buckaroo
and one last thing
be gentle with my little tender heart.
As I sleep, touch your fingertips along my fingers and arms
like a pianist for whom the music has stopped.
Or even the air between and slight
a gentle wave upon the quiet sea.
Rest your cupped hand upon my bent head
feel the pulses of love come from inside
like a lighthouse searching the sea
and feel how much I want to love you
you and the whole world.
Let me love you if only just for a bit.
I told her once
as she placed her hand upon me in bed.
Only in my head of course.
I couldn't dare to speak the truth only to think it.
I was sure she knew anyway
and didn't want to know.
we were like two crabs
with our pincers stuck into each other
unable to prise ourselves apart.
Two bulls with our horns locked
A woman told me the other day
crabs mate for life,
no, maybe it was something else.
There is an angel at my front door
I don't see him but I know he is there .
He is like a bouncer
he turns away all the undesirables.
Sits on a pink deckchair
He smokes a big cigar and has has a few slugs of whisky from the bottle he hides in the bushes only when nobody is looking.
He fans his wings out in a massive y when young ladies walk by.
He dances sometimes at night when everybody is asleep.
Other times he just stares up at the stars and wonders where his next job will be.
Hopefully it will be an easier job next time.
There is an angel at my front door.
I Don't ..........................................................
BLIND MAN'S BLUFF
I saw a woman with a blind dog
waiting to get on the tube.
As I passed her I winked at her.
She did not wink back but she saw me.
Maybe it was the dog who was blind
or maybe she hoped she was.
A CHEEKY ONE
As we sat in Nandos
a woman got a drink from the machine
then she stopped and let out a big fart
but like a magician pulling handkerchiefs from a hat
it went on and on.
The man getting some drinks started to raise his eyebrows
then it came to an end and she walked off.
I burst out laughing but nobody knew why.
HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS
The beggar sits there everyday like Socrates at the city gate.
I want to shout at him
"Hey you this is not ancient Greece, why don't you go home?"
I am home, he might say.
If that is right he has the biggest home in the world
and not only that
it is free.
ON AND ON
How is it possible to stop existing to even think of it
who will turn the lights out when we leave
who will upset the neighbours
who will insult the wife.
No I must go on.
I felt like asking her
if she ever got tired
tired of trying to swim upstream all the time.
Why don't you for once turn around
and let the river take you where it wants you to go for a change.
I pressed the button for the lift
it came down but the door didn't open
so I started to bang on it like a front door
The doors opened and the people started to laugh as I walked in
"Did anybody hear knocking?" I asked they must of thought I was drunk at 1 in the afternoon.
There is a photo of me holding up a bear in front of the hermitage on the wall.
There are thirty of my paintings in this room alone.
I talk to dead people here in this room too.
I know there is a magic in life and you should not care about any of it.
I keep thinking as I lay here
I am a all or nothing kind of guy and I prefer nothing.
The time is coming as sure as the clouds when I will have to go out into the world again who knows what I will find.